Sunday, May 22, 2016

Top Ten: Why I Hate Exercise

I started working out again last week.  I have a love/hate relationship with exercise.  Basically, I'd love to love it, but I hate it. Hence, the love/hate relationship.

But now that I've completed four workouts in a row, I'm an expert on the matter.  Right?  So, here are my

Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate Exercise
 
 
10. It hurts. My body is screaming at me right now.  And it's using a lot of dirty words that I don't normally use myself.
 
9.  I'm old. Next year I turn 40. Now, to be fair, my birthday is later in the year so I haven't even turned 39 yet. But still. I'm old. And I totally feel it.
 
8.  I'm tired. I know that I'll feel better after I start shaping up a bit but I have to exercise to do it but I'm tired and I don't want to exercise. It's a vicious cycle.
 
7. I have kids. This is probably one of the biggest reasons why I NEED to exercise. But it's also a reason why it's so HARD! First, my day is consumed by my mommy-schedule. Second, have you ever tried to do a push up with a toddler thinking you make an awesome horse? In order to avoid these complications I need to exercise before the kids wake up and I have standards. Early mornings are against my personal creed in life.
 
6. The 80/20 rule. So, diet makes up 80% of how to get fit. That means that busting my butt in working out is only 20% of the equation.  What the heck? Everything I'm doing will be nullified if I can't control my eating habits? This depresses me and makes me want cookies. And Diet Coke.
 
5. My clothes. My workout clothes don't fit. Having three kids in three years (plus the other four before that) messed me up. Bad. But I don't want to buy new clothes because I don't want to stay this size.  So I wear a sports bra that cuts off circulation. It's awesome.
 
4. My carpet. Every time I get on the floor for pushups, burpees, core work, or whatever I'm reminded of how gross my carpet is. We knew when we moved in that we would need to replace it. That was six years ago. Yeah....
 
3.  It's boring.  It costs money to mix up the exercise routine. I'm cheap and I don't like spending money on myself, even if that means doing something other than the same video day in and day out. And I'm addicted to watching television so I'd rather watch Fat Amy sing and dance than watch the same skinny people easily do an exercise routine that winds me within the first three minutes.
 
2. My doctor warned me.  I had the unique experience of laying on the surgical table right after my last (and fifth) C-section and having my doctor warn me that my ab muscles are thin. I asked her if that would effect my healing.  She assured me it wouldn't, but it would make getting back in shape really hard. So now I have a built-in excuse for why I always want to quit.  And I use it. All. The. Time. "I can't do this exercise because my abs are thin." Unfortunately, they are the only thin part of my body, so that sucks.
 
And the number one reason I hate exercise....
 
I never did Kegels during my pregnancies.  Jumping is a bad idea. A very bad idea.
 
So now what?
 
Now I go to bed so I can get up early tomorrow morning and work out. Because I can do this, even if I hate it right now.

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