#20 I'm Thankful For.....

Today was the 5k for Chloe's Sunshine Playground.  It was my first actual race.

My friend Cindy and I had agreed to participate together.  As I was talking to my brother Peter about it, he thought it would be a cause worth joining in as well.

So at 7:00 this morning we loaded Emma and Abby into the van and the four of us (we met Pete at the race) took off.  Cindy's husband was kind enough to keep Matt and Millie with him and their boys.  We got our snazzy t-shirts and race numbers and timing chips.  We stretched and got ready to run.

There were some major concerns I had coming into this:

1.  The elements.  It was a bit windy this morning and it was about 50 degrees.  That doesn't sound too bad, but it was cloudy.  And I'm ashamed to admit how cold I actually was. 

2.  The altitude.  There's an elevation difference of 2855 feet between my home and Syracuse, UT.  It's not much of a difference, but it's enough of one that I knew it could really hinder me.

3.  Out of shape.  I haven't done very much running in the last several weeks.  I completed the c25k program with perfect attendance.  I didn't miss a day.  As soon as that tenth week came, I was lucky to run two days a week.  That went on for a several weeks and then when I miscarried I took an several days off from running.  This week I ran/walked 2 miles on Monday and ran 2.6 miles on Wednesday.  I wasn't sure how I'd do today.

4.  Headache.  I suddenly found myself with a major headache around the 2k mark, despite my efforts to drink lots of water yesterday.

But I am absolutely thankful for my goals and my ability to accomplish them.  A couple of times I actually considered suggesting that Pete and I stop and walk.  But I didn't want to.  I wanted to run.  I had things to prove to myself.  We were some of the slower starters.  Lots of people ran quickly ahead of us.  But we stayed steady and around the 4k mark we picked up the pace. 

When we saw the stop light next to the finish line we picked it up even more.

We rounded the corner to the last several yards to the finish line and picked it up again.  Then Pete and I began sprinting.  At least I did.  Pete was very chivalrous and allowed me to pull ahead of him.  I barely made it over the finish line before him.  But the main point is.....

I made it.

Pardon the blurriness.  Abby was our photographer! :)

I ran the entire 5k.  33.55 minutes.  Despite the elements, the altitude, the headache, and the near depression of the last two weeks I accomplished my goal. 

Crossing the finish line was like crossing a line in my life.  The line indicating my first step to move on.  I ran a 5k on sheer will power.  And now life has affirmed that I can use that will power for anything.  And becoming a stronger person is Step 1. 

I'm thankful for my first 5k race today.

(I'm also thankful for my friends that stopped by and said hi this afternoon.  I loved seeing you and can't wait to do it again sometime.)

Saved

In line with the "Thankful" post the other day, I'm blogging another answer to my friend Jeri Dawn's blog game of "Getting to Know You." And I will heartily laugh if you began singing the song just now.

The latest question:

"What or who or when or how did someone save you?"

This is a huge question. And, for me, I cannot just answer it. I have to study the question, ponder it, mull it over in my mind, and then just scrap all that and write whatever may come to me. You know. How I usually write my blog posts.

Because of the different types of saving, I'm going to break it down.

Physical
I have been physically saved at least twice. Once was on the Arkansas River in Colorado. I went white water rafting with some friends from my ward, including my mom, our bishop and his family. While going down the river, the raft flipped. Here's the bad part. I can't swim. Here's the good part. I was wearing a life jacket. The river washed me away from the raft and another raft in our party had to come get me. I drank half the river that day. I also never went rafting again, much to Josh's disappointment.

The second time I was saved by Dr Richard Porreco when Matt was born. He saved my son when he was born, which literally tore up my insides. Dr Porreco found the unexpected bleeding, got my blood transfusion taken care of, and I was still able to have children afterward. If Matt had been born in the little town we lived in rather than Denver, either Matt or I may not be here.

Social
Like many others, junior high was a hard time for me. We moved to Utah and I hated it. I hated my parents. I hated the people. I hated the church. I hated school. I hated my siblings. I hated life. Several different groups of people helped me out of my funk. My parents stuck by me and never gave up or quit praying for me. My friends in my new ward reached out and welcomed me, even though it took me a year to accept that outreach. I wandered between a few groups of friends at school, never really feeling a part of any of them. It was a while before I allowed myself to truly feel a part of my friends' lives. I don't know that they ever really knew that I felt so lost for so long. But by ninth grade, I had a secure place with my friends and I still love each of them.

Love
Josh saved me. He saved me from worry, dread, heartache, loneliness, emptiness, and every other bad thing you can think of. I spent a lot of time moping around because I hadn't found him yet. He has tamed me (sort of) and I can't imagine the idea of happiness without thinking of him.

'Cause when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun

'Cause when I'm a firecracker comin' undone

Or when I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild-eyed and crazy

No matter where my reckless soul takes me

Baby you save me

-Kenny Chesney, You Save Me

There are times when he's the only person that can calm me. Of course, he's also one of the things that shoots me off, but that's a whole other subject.

Emotionally

Just over a year ago, I prayed for a miracle. I prayed with all my being. I fell asleep praying, something I've never done before or since. My family was in jeopardy. Satan did his best to bind us in darkness. I have an inkling of what Joseph Smith experienced with his first prayer in the Sacred Grove. He had gone to pray, to ask the Lord which church he should join. But before he could begin his prayer, something happened to him:

...I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by
some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence
over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness
gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden
destruction. (Joseph Smith History 1:15)

I don't know that I can fully understand this feeling, but that night a year ago, I came close. I felt "doomed to sudden destruction." Joseph pleaded for help and was saved by the appearance of God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I was saved by the inspiration to utter in my own prayer, "We need a miracle. Please send us a miracle."

The next morning my miracle manifested through several different people in many different ways. We were saved. We were free. We found the strength to overcome our "thick darkness." I've been scarred by this event. It haunts my thoughts still. But we've overcome the earthly trials it caused. Our Heavenly Father saved us through His miracle. He continues to save me every day to overcome the memory of our near "sudden destruction."

Well. That was long and a bit deep. But I've been saved. Many times. In many ways.

The Thankful Project

My friend Jeri Dawn has challenged her loyal blog readers to post the answers to a get-to-know-you question she posted: Ten Things You Are Thankful For Today.

I haven't played one of these games for a while and almost passed, even with Jeri Dawn's threat to come to my blog and call me a chicken. I was willing to take that risk.

But today was a rough day. The kids couldn't play quietly and the monsoon outside didn't allow them to go out and run around. Josh was trying to sleep for his shift tonight. I did NOTHING yesterday after getting home from our trip and I have a huge to-do list that I didn't accomplish today.

So, for the sake of my soul, I've decided to play.

Ten Things I'm Thankful For Today:

1. The rain. I have no grass for it to water, but the kids loved watching the streets and yards flood.

2. Our vehicles are out of commission. That may sound bad, but it caused Josh to have to call in to work, so I get another night with him before he works seven days in a row.

3. My sister and brother-in-law. With the problems of the car, Jabon came over to help Josh jump the car. When the battery proved to be beyond dead, Jabon took the battery out of his beautiful Mustang for us to use in the car so we can fix both the car and the flat tire on the van tomorrow. They help us a lot.

4. Gummy bears. They're good.

5. Reading time. I love to read with my kids. I read a different book with each kid, so after prayers they each read individually while I make my rounds. Matt and I are reading Eragon, Abby and I are reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and Emma and I are reading Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites.

6. My fixed dryer. I did laundry today and it only took me into the afternoon, not two days like it did at the rental.

7. The storm is over. Now that the storm has stopped raging, my tv shows aren't being interrupted by the Emergency Alert System telling me where the thunderstorms and flash floods are happening.

8. The photo of Josh and the kids at the beach. That was one of the most perfect days we've had in a long time. It reminded me that not every day is a rough one.

9. Brownies and ice cream. They're also good.

10. I'm very thankful for the outlet I have of writing. Whether it's on Facebook or the blog or my book. I like to get things out and allow everyone to wallow in my rants with me.

So, Jeri Dawn, thank you for this challenge. I needed it. It's good to remember that I am thankful for things.

The Bloggest Loser -- Week Eleven

Cindy won last week. Go, Cindy. Just imagine what can happen once you're allowed to exercise.

I'm sick. And it was Matt's birthday week. I did not complete very many of my goals. My head is currently so stuffy that I don't know that it's safe for me to write this, but I'm already late getting it posted. Anyway, I'm stable. My plateau is safe. The goose egg is secure.

So, do I dare, with my current state of mind, try to tell a little about the few who have stayed constant with me through this journey? Of course. Who am I to back down from a challenge? Everyone who's still in this is tough. You can all handle what I may or may not say about you. (I would throw out a crazy kind of laugh here, but I'd start sneezing or something and ruin the effect.)

Okay....

Amy. You can read her blog at Larsons Are Lucky. Amy and I met at Adams State in Colorado when we were both Theatre students. We didn't really know each other before we worked together on Good Night, Desdemona Good Morning, Juliet. I remember finding it surprising that we had been theatre majors together for a year and hadn't met. Not only because our department was small, but because we were the only two active Mormons in the department. It's funny how we Mormons gravitate to each other, no matter where we are. Amy and I were friends from the time we worked on Desdemona on. We were both pregnant during our time in school and took turns nursing our little babies in the Green Room. We lost touch for a while after college, seeing each other only occasionally in Walmart, but Facebook brought us back together. I like Amy. She has two beautiful little girls and is the busy wife of a trucker.

Carina. I lost Carina for a while, but the magic of Facebook brought us back together again too. Carina and I have been friends for a long time. I think our friendship really blossomed senior year of high school when we both served on the Seminary Council for our Released Time Seminary classes. We had so many great spiritual moments. I will always remember those first few weeks, especially, when we bonded and came together. Carina is such a meek person. I don't know if everyone understands the incredible compliment I mean that as. Meekness is Power under Control. This is what Carina is. She is a person of such strength, but she does everything with such love and kindness. I don't think there's a mean bone in her body (to use a bad cliche, but I mean it). She has five children and obviously adores them very much.

Cindy. Cindy has been my BFF since about 1992. Right? Cindy, if that's wrong, remember I'm sick. For Cindy's wedding each of her friends were asked to create a quilt square signifying some aspect of our friendship. Would it surprise anyone if I were to say my quilt square has a movie quote on it? I chose my first real memory of her. One day in 8th grade Cindy came bouncing over to me in our PE class. I sat in the back of the last row because we sat alphabetically. Cindy asked me, "Shelly, what's your last name?" I said, "I can't tell you that." "Why not?" I told her, "Because you're a straaaanger." That's a direct quote from Home Alone and Cindy played right into my 14-year-old-overly-dramatic hands. Cindy and I have never lost touch. She's an incredible friend that has been with me through junior high, high school, college, singlehood, young marrieds, childlessness, childbirth, ups, downs, the worst times of my life, and the best. I'm getting mushy and I know she doesn't care for that, but I love her and (except for Josh) she's the best friend I've ever had. She has four beautiful little boys -- although I've got to go see Number Four for myself. And she's the epitome of the term "Domestic Goddess."

We only have a month left of our competition. Think we can do any good? Calculate your weight loss and leave a comment. If you want to join us for the last few weeks, do it. I have a lot of weight to lose to reach my goal, so if you're just starting, you won't be far behind. At all.

So, tell me your percentage lost, your highs, your lows, your favorite color, your favorite imaginary creature. Whatever you need to get off your chest. And hopefully I'll be feeling better soon and back to my exercise regime. Hopefully.

It's A Small World After All

Tonight I took the kids to the Groom's/Rehearsal Dinner for Josh's cousin. His cousin Breanna is getting married tomorrow in the Mesa AZ Temple.

It was a great reunion, although Josh had to work. We saw Josh's mom, his aunts and uncles, some cousins. It was fun. Millie was introduced to everyone and several people recognized the girls from their pictures well enough to tell them apart in person. That may not seem like a big deal, but you'd be surprised how often the two of them are confused. I was impressed.

I was also reunited with my former Visiting Teaching companion from about nine years ago. Josh and I lived in Mesa not long after we were married and that's where I met Michelle. Like I said, we were partnered together to visit certain sisters in our ward. She had just had her third child and I was pregnant with Emma. I approached her and we visited for a minute or two. She said she remembered me, but I'm pretty sure she was just being polite. But it's funny to come across someone from the past.

Oh, and just an update on my nephew Brayden. Thanks for all of your prayers. My SIL reports that he's doing much better and eating well. He should be able to go home within the next few weeks. Hooray!!

Sunday Lesson

Today at church we had an interesting lesson. Because it was the fifth Sunday, we had our final meeting combined, men and women. Generally, that final hour of church is spent with the women in Relief Society and the men in Priesthood lessons.

Our bishop had been inspired to speak about the issues the youth are facing today. He told us that two years ago our youth (young men and women ages 12 to 18), were a total number of 24. Now, after many more houses have been finished, they number 72, with 15 more kids turning 12-yrs-old throughout the coming year. That's a large group of youth. Anyway, the bishop invited two young women to speak the the mass of adults today to candidly and openly talk about the things they are exposed to everyday.

Within their high school, these two young women described being accosted by foul language, sexually explicit language, and others of their friends falling to the temptations of sexual activity, homosexuality, bragging about STDs, immodest clothing, non-enforced dress code rules, and other things that would scare any parent.

One thing I found very interesting was that these two juniors in high school both had to rack their brains and actually pray for inspiration as to what to share because they have done so well at blocking it all out. They have grown up with moral examples and have already discovered their self-worth, so they have not paid any attention to those things that would harm them physically, mentally or spiritually. They have surrounded themselves with people that hold their same values. They resist the call to be "of the world" around them.

I realized that I was very lucky growing up. I had good parents who taught me well. I knew I was a Daughter of God. I had friends that lifted me up and kept me on the right path. And some of them are reading this now. I love you and thank you for helping me keep my youth a much easier existence. I was nowhere near being perfect (there are plenty that can verify that!), but because of the good people around me and the testimony I had of the Gospel, I bypassed a lot of pain and sorrow.

Thank you for being my friends! You've helped me more than you'll ever know! :)

We Can Do It!

Upon Lori's suggestion (and Tara Bennett's endorsement---yes, everyone's opinions matter to me!!) I've decided to call the weekly weight check-in "We Can Do It." I also liked Jeri Dawn's idea of "Operation: Fit Into My Pants" but I wasn't sure if you had dibs on that one, JD.

Anyway, I've been religiously exercising this week. Everyday. We'll see how tomorrow goes, Saturdays are always so tricky. Especially since we have a trip to the zoo planned. My downfall is, and has always been, food. Either I eat too much or not enough. I can't seem to find the right balance. I use my Biggest Loser cookbook, but that only does me so much good when I pop myself a bag of popcorn at 8pm. Help!!! I really, really want to do something like the NutriSystem diet, but I'm scared to do stuff like that. What happens after I've lost the weight and begin making my own food again? I'll tell you what happens....

Hello, Fatty!!

I don't need that again. I remind myself quite often, that I began this journey two years ago. I was interrupted with a pregnancy, so that takes a year out of the count. In the year I've been doing this, I've lost 35 lbs. That's good. But why is this last half of my weight loss journey so tricky? Maybe it's because I keep changing tactics. I have become a bit of a connoisseur of exercise programs. I'm sticking with the Insanity program. This week has been a killer, but if I can stick with it, I'll see results soon, I'm sure. I've just got to keep exercising and working on my food choices. No more "cheat foods" or "cheat meals". Just because I did a good job working out, doesn't mean I've earned the naughty foods.

I'll try it out for a week and we'll see how it goes.

How'd you do?

200th Post!

This is my 200th post and I'd like to say this:

(Ahem)

I'm still alive!!! I've been without internet for over a week and I'm so glad to have it back!! First, I lost my husband to his new job nearly 2000 miles away and then I lost everyone else because I had no internet to socialize with. It's been a rough time.

So, now that I have internet, I have no time. I'm making dinner and need to take care of my children, but, boy, I've been planning all sorts of things to randomly whip out at'cha.

Don't quit me!!

More From Our Weekend

There are a few things I forgot to mention about our weekend. So, here they are now.

Matt had Preschool Graduation Friday morning. I'm not exactly sure that going to preschool for a year warrants a graduation, but it was fun and Matt's teacher put a lot of effort into making the kids' diplomas and caps. This is him with his class. He's the furthest on the left.

Here he is third from the right.

Here he is fourth from the left complete with diploma and cap.

Saturday night we went to a BBQ with our friends that work with Josh. It was a fun time and we really love spending time with Howard and Mary Pat. We went to a park and had our picnic there. It was a beautiful day and good food with great company. You can't ask for anything more than that!

Here's Abby coming down the pole.

Josh juggled pinecones to the kids' delight.

Matt likes to swing.

All three kids loved the merry-go-round.

Millie has begun reaching for me. It's so sweet. She also likes to hold hands. She doesn't like to be left alone, but you don't have to hold her if you'll just hold her hand. She's so cute.

We spent some of the day on Monday sitting in the waiting room at the ER. Josh had helped Gramma and Grampa recaulk their bathtub, but the putty knife he was using to remove the old stuff slipped and he tried to take off his fingertip instead. So, he contained the bleeding as much as possible, finished caulking and then headed to the ER. Five stitches and three hours later we met Gramma and Grampa at Mom and Dad's for our Memorial Day BBQ. Matt's scared of Josh's finger.

Anniversary Countdown Part I

Taking a cue from my friend Mindy who wrote a series of posts about how she and her husband met, I thought I'd do the same thing.

Friday is our 10th anniversary, hence the countdown ticker to the right. I've been thinking quite a bit about our love story. It's pretty rushed and, really, we started off pretty rough. But, since it's the Big 1-0, I thought I'd make it a theme this week. So, here it goes...

Preparing to Meet

In October 1996, a few months after graduating from high school, Josh's family moved from Tempe, Arizona, to Woodland Park, Colorado. He actually submitted the paperwork to serve a mission for our church from their previous home and his call to serve his mission arrived at his uncle's house in Colorado a couple days before his family did. He spent just a few months in Colorado before boarding a plane for Durban, South Africa, where he spent the next two years.

In October 1996, I was beginning my first year at Utah State University. I was in a somewhat frustrated state of life. I didn't really know what I wanted to major in and felt lost quite often. I mostly went to college to find a boyfriend, but that didn't pan out very well. And, all of my male friends from high school were all preparing for their own missions, so there went all of those options. I was pretty sure I was going to be a 19-year-old Old Maid. I began writing to my friends as they headed out on their missions. I was determined that even if I had to wait two years, I was going to secure a few dates. I sent letters to Brazil, Venezuela, Mexico. Czech Republic, and several other places throughout the world. At one time I think I had a dozen young men I was dutifully writing to (one was my cousin but that was just because he's my cousin--no date warranted there).

I barely made it through that year of college (special thanks to my dear, dear friend Tara!), and made a few hasty dating decisions during that time. I even said the "L" word to one boyfriend even though I knew I didn't. But, he said it first! It wasn't my fault and I came away having learned a lesson about love (and non-love). Because I was paying my own way through school, I decided to take time off until I knew what to study because I didn't want to waste money on indirection. I worked full time and the following February (1998) I decided to move with my family from Utah to Colorado. We ended up in Woodland Park.

Not long after arriving in Colorado my dad and I were asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting (in the LDS church the members of the congregation take turns addressing the entire congregation each Sunday). I got up and spoke and unbeknownst to me, my future mother-in-law received personal inspiration that I was going to marry her son. She immediately began plotting. She asked me if I would add her son, Joshua, to my list of missionary pen pals since she wasn't as consistent a letter writer as I was (still had a dozen possible beaus at this time). I told her I would, but he'd have to write to me first--what the heck was I supposed to write to this stranger about?

Back in South Africa, Josh was working hard and was in a meeting with several authority figures when the front office called back to the meeting and told him they thought there might be an emergency because his mother was on the phone (phone calls in the mission field are limited to Christmas, Mother's Day, and extreme emergencies). Josh worriedly answered the phone and was greeted with, "Elder Johnson, I met your wife today." After hashing out letter writing details with his mom as quickly as possible, Josh turned back to the rest of the room who were worried about what the emergency was. Josh told them his mom found his wife. They all breathed a sigh of relief and continued with their meeting.

Over the next few months Josh and I exchanged letters telling the other about ourselves. Josh told me all about South Africa and I told him all about my boring life in a small mountain town where the big thing was to hang out at the newly opened Safeway (true story). I definitely got the more interesting letters. Problem was, mail service to and from South Africa is very slow. It took three to four weeks for a letter to be delivered. Evidently he sent me a package for my birthday, but I never got it. I sent him a package for his birthday (complete with a whoopee cushion, fingerpaints, and a couple 3 Muskateer bars). I looked forward to getting mail from "The Johnson Boy" as my dad called him.

Around July or August of 1998 I decided I wanted to serve a mission also. I wasn't eligible to submit my paperwork for a mission for another few months (not until my birthday in September), but I let everyone around me know of my intentions. Somehow, before my birthday, Josh's dad asked me to commit to teach a religion class to high school student (Seminary) for the following school year and then consider a mission after that time. I say "somehow" because Josh's dad admitted later that he was trying to keep me around until his son would be home in January. There seemed to be a few conspiracies involved in all of this.

Near the end of his two years in South Africa, Josh served in the country of Swaziland. Because he was very isolated out there, his mission president allowed him to email (missionaries now get to email all the time). He was given permission to email me, specifically, once a week. By this point we had exchanged pictures (I devilishly sent him a headshot since it made me look like a hotty) and we emailed every Monday and wrote snail mail as regularly as possible.

December 1998, Josh was preparing to come home. His Visa expired the end of the month and although he would be short a couple of weeks of a full two years, extending his Visa was more trouble than it was worth, so he'd get to come home before Christmas. I was so nervous! Everyone at church knew we'd been writing and they knew he was coming home soon. All I knew was that I had spent several months writing to this guy that had a great sense of humor, a strong spiritual nature, and secretly excited me. I was very worried, but hoping, that this guy was the one.

March (Movie) Madness

Several movies have made their ways into my mind lately. Here are a few things I've been thinking about:



Tonight First Wives' Club was on. I love this movie. Probably because when it came out I was a non-dating high schooler that was bitter about my situation and loved the companionship of my girl friends. After seeing this movie in the theater, we decided that Annie (Diane Keaton) was most like my friend Mindy, Brenda (Bette Midler) was most like my friend Cindy, and Elise (Goldie Hawn) was most like me. You couldn't get it any better than that. Plus, there was Shelly (Sarah Jessica Parker). "Shelly the Barracuda. She's 12." My name isn't used that much, so when it is, it's kind of fun. Also, Goldie Hawn always makes me think of my friend Tara. Just a movie full of memories and thoughts.

Have you ever seen or read Anne of Green Gables? It's really a good one. In fact, I'd like to read it with the girls. But after reading it for a bit, you kind of get to the point of thinking, "For Heaven's sake, girl. Are you ever going to stop talking?" This is Emma. Perfectly. Completely. You think I talk a lot? You don't know that half of it.

Remember the movie The Beverly Hillbillies? Remember the scene when the family is leaving Arkansas to go to Californy and they have to tie Granny to the top of the car and as they're going down the road a low lying tree branch is coming up. Jethro says, "Watch your head, Granny"? And then the tree knocks Granny tied up to her rocker down onto the road. The kids saw this the other day and cracked up laughing. Well, a few days later Emma was doing her hair in the bathroom with the door closed. Abby opened the door and promptly hit Emma and Emma got upset. In an effort to make her feel better Abby said, "Watch your head, Granny." Emma didn't think it was so funny, but I laughed.

The day before yesterday Matt and Josh were wrestling. Remember in Shanghai Noon when Owen Wilson said, "I may not know karate, but I know ca-razy!"? So, Josh was on his back and Matt came over to him and said, "I may not know crazy, but I know punching!" The last time we saw that movie was a few weeks ago. Good memory, Matt.

Millie has developed a bit of a raspy voice. She was gurgling at me the other day and made me think of Multiplicity. Remember the part when Laura (Andie MacDowell) asks Number 4 what he wants and he says with a bit of a raspy voice, "I want pizza. Give me some pizza." Of course we knew that one of my kids was going to be a bit of Number 4. It's unavoidable.



And not to leave Josh out, we watch Ratatouille every time it is on. Not because the kids love it, but because Josh does. Anyone need an idea of something to buy Josh? This is the perfect gift.

And here's a homemade movie. Sunday Millie is 3 months old! Holy cow, the time is flying!! She's such a joy in our home. It's like she's always been here with us. We all love her so much!

I am not Obsessive; I am not Obsessive; I am not...

Okay, it's that time again. Time for me to admit my, uh, weaknesses. I have issues.

I don't know if it's more of a behavioral problem, I'd have to go dig out Josh's nursing textbooks to see, but I'm pretty sure I have obsessive issues. I tease Tara about our days at Utah State and her need for our alarm clocks to be synchronized, but the truth is, I liked that. Yes, yes, I liked the incessant order. I liked how things lined up just right. Tara got teased about the order her cd's were in. I never did step forward to admit that mine were not only ordered by genre, but also alphabetized within the genre. They still are!!! But this is just a small bit of the obsessive issues that I'm pretty sure I have.

When I get into something, I can't really let go of it. You can tell what I'm into by what I watch on tv. When we wanted to buy a house and began the process, we watched HGTV and DIY Network constantly. I haven't watched them much lately, but spring is coming so I have been indulging in shows like Desperate Landscapes. When I was pregnant I watched the Discovery Health Channel and TLC. My days and nights mostly consisted of A Baby Story, The Baby Diaries, Deliver Me, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, 17 Kids and Counting, and anything else about babies and pregnancy. It seems like each pregnancy I end up watching 9 Months at least twice (I love Joan Cusack). Now it's the weight loss thing. I've been watching every showing of The Biggest Loser, both past and current episodes. I'm loving the show Bulging Brides with women that just need to lose a little weight before their weddings. I don't even know what it is that I like about it. Maybe that it's women closer to my own size.

What the heck is wrong with me? Am I the only one that does this? I've been trying to avoid the more violent shows that I usually love like any CSI, and other crime dramas. I had a really violent dream the other night, so I really don't want to get into those shows right now. Anyway, it seems that my obsessive compulsions are giving me a safer tv zone if nothing else.

The Lemonade Award

I received this great award from my friend Celine. Thanks for thinking of me, Celine!! I'm supposed to tag ten people, but I'm going to be a bit unorthodox and say this: If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged!! Pretty much, anyone with a blog that reads this, I read your blog as well. Cheating and a bit of a cop-out, but that's how it's going for me today.

But, I really very highly recommend that you check out Celine's blog.

She's a former exchange student from France, currently living in Paris and is willing to answer questions any non-Parisians may have about France and Europe. I'm finding this

very fascinating since I've ALWAYS wanted to go to Europe, France and Italy especially.

I thought it was appropriate to talk about Celine after showing Emma's video about living "Months and months in France." I showed her the video and she said, "Oh, that's so embarrassing!" Little does she know that she's got YEARS to make more embarrassing memories.

Kidz Rule

My very good friend Tara has developed a blog set up specifically about kids with special needs and their families, as well as the many lessons we can all learn about life's challenges and our abilities to succeed.

Basically, here's the deal. Kidz is an incredible blog that has introduced me to some great new friends and I've read many stories of kids and their families with different challenges and struggles that all figure out a way to overcome them. And here's the thing--no matter how hard I think their lives are, all of the families have found happiness and strength and LOVE. It's really amazing. I love to learn about the different kids and their families and hope I can become as strong as they are.

One thing to know about Tara: I've lived with her. I know that when she puts her heart and soul into something, it becomes something of beauty. Kidz is truly her heart's work. This next week is a kick off party for her blog. Everyday there will be a drawing for some great prizes for anyone that makes a comment on the blog. If nothing else, check it out for the possibility to win some great prizes. But I think once you meet some of the kids she introduces to us and the different crafts and activities she finds, you'll be hooked.

Just to give you an example of the cool kids you'll come across, look at our own story about Matt. He was featured a few months ago.

So, to be introduced to some incredible kids, find ideas for food, crafts or activities, or to meet some awesome people from all over the world, go to Kidz. You won't be disappointed!

(I feel like Lamar Burton on Reading Rainbow, "But don't take my word for it...")

More Than Just Groundhog's Day

A couple of great things have happened today. First, I got a call this morning telling me that my BFF Cindy had her baby this morning. HOORAY!! He's a little early, but not too bad. His name is Russell Brent (Rusty) and he weighed in at 7lbs 1oz. I am so excited to see him. We need to go on a huge road trip just for the benefit of the new additions made recently. If we could make a loop from MT to UT to AZ to CO back to MT, we'd be able to see all our family and therefore see Rusty in UT, Ashton in AZ and show off Millie to everyone along the way. Hmmm...sounds like a great idea to me.

Today was also my first day to try to get myself healthier and into shape. I did my Power 90 workout, which is an amazing program. The first time we attempted Power 90 (the summer before I got pregnant with Matt) I lost 16 inches in the first 6 weeks alone. The last time I did it was right before I got pregnant with Millie and I lost 15lbs and was kicking butt. I didn't get to finish the 90 day guarantee of major weightloss because of my pregnancy, but I don't think I'll have any excuses this time. I wore my exercise clothes which aren't as baggy as my usual clothes and Matt asked when the baby in my tummy was going to come out. No, there's not another baby in my tummy. Just lots of leftover. Lots. Oh, so many lots. But in 90 days I'll be fitter. Probably not where I want to be yet, but closer.

So overall it's been a good day. How are you?

Oath of Friendship

I got an email from my mentor, Carolyn, that I had to share. But I decided to broaden the number of people I share with. This forward takes the tone that I love so much about Carolyn, but it also takes the tone that I myself use quite often.

Are you tired of those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of True Friendship.

You won’t see cutesy little smiley faces – just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared, we will high tail it out of there.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever it is you have.

8. When you fall, I'll pick you up and dust you off – after I laugh my butt off.

9. This is my oath . . . I pledge it to the end.

'Why?' you may ask; because you are my friend!

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Try sending this to ten of your closest friends, then, get horribly depressed ‘cause you can only think of four!


I even liked that last line. Which part of the oath is your favorite? Mine is the first one. I'd kind of like to see a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew. That would be a sight. I envision something like the time my brother-in-law James was first dating Lori and he was a hyper, springy, gangly thing. Once he and Josh were standing on Mom and Dad's deck and James jumped his springy, gangly butt up on Josh's back and Josh almost threw him like a rag doll down off of the deck. I wish you could've seen it. He looked like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew.

By the way, I totally plan to do all of these things for you, my friend.

A "Loverly" Day

This new blog world has exposed me to some really great people, including my new friend Celine who gave me this great award. Celine lives in France and is preparing for a move from Paris to closer to her family on the eastern side of France. Her blog is so fun to read and I love the pictures she posts--sights I hope to see myself someday. Thanks, Celine, you rock!

I'd like to spread the love and show off some of my other friends with "Loverly" blogs.

My sister Tara has begun the New Year with the resolution to blog more. She's just created her own personal one. It's definitely worth looking at and seeing the pix of my extremely handsome nephews.

Jeri Dawn is a high school friend I reconnected with through the blogging world after years of separation. I love being able to relate to so many of her experiences and seeing her girls. They're so cute! And, she's recently discovered that she's expecting. Woo hoo.

My BFF Cindy has two (almost three) WAY cute boys. She's got some great stories of their happenings. Her son Ricky is a riot to read about--he says the funniest things. You have to check her out.

Mindy is another high school friend who is also pregnant. She's out near Washington D.C. and has always been up for wherever life takes her, be it D.C. or the Ukraine. I love reading about her life out there, it's so different than the near-frontier life of Montana.

Girls, I love reading your blogs. They are loverly! (The word "Loverly" is from one of the songs on My Fair Lady, by the way.)