Just The Facts, Ma'am

Hours spent cleaning walls: 10

Number of boxes of Magic Eraser used on walls: 7

Days spent painting: 14

Total rooms/halls/stairways painted: 15

Total specialty painting projects done: 3

Money saved by doing it ourselves: $600+

Hours spent loading/unloading moving van: 15

Number of times I faked a pregnancy to get out of loading/unloading: 0

Number of times I wanted to: Many

Hours spent cleaning the rental before turning in the keys: 8

Number of boxes unpacked so far: Abt 50

Number of boxes left to unpack: Abt 40

Number of children who survived their mother's impatience and frustration: 4

Number of casualties: 2 (a large painting Josh and I bought on our honeymoon and my really nice blender)

Days of working on either the rental or the new house in a row: 22

Number of hours I wish I could spend in my bed without worrying about anything: 1000s

The Darn Dominoes

I cleaned up Matt's room today. I took all of the toys (his room was previously the playroom) and separated them by kid and then boxed those suckers up. It's time for us to begin moving, even if it's taking forever for us to close on this house.

I was having one of those "Bad Mommy" days as it was. You know what I mean. The days when you sit there and think, Why did I sign up for this?

I was finding broken toys, unused toys, dirty toys, toys I'd never seen before. But I was feeling pretty good about my progress. It was slow, but I was making piles throughout the room and getting things done. One of my piles consisted of Cars dominoes. Ever seen these?

Don't buy them. They are possessed.

I found at least one domino in every room of the house today. Then I'd put them in their own pile and turn my back to take care of other toys. By the time I turned back around, a single domino would be 12 inches away from the pile. I'd put it back, scan the area, find nothing else out of place and turn my back again. When I'd come back, guess what? Another domino about 12 inches away from the pile.

I swear, they are possessed....roaming the house of their own accord, making curse words fall out of my mouth. The darn dominoes.

Rolling With the Punches

At church on Sunday, one of the teachers mentioned in her lesson that she has moved 20 times in her life. She thought that was a lot until another sister told her she had moved 47 times.

Of course, this got me thinking (I may have to retitle my blog that: "This Got Me Thinking..."). I was reminded of a friend I had once who was serving as the Young Women's President at church. I was her counselor. She had a very hard time bending when bending was required. For her, things needed to be the way she had originally planned them or she'd freak out. I spent many evenings trying to console her and help her understand that plans sometimes need to change. And that's okay. One night I told her, "You've got to be more flexible and learn to roll with the punches." She chilled out a little bit, but it was always a challenge for her.

And what about me? Do I follow my own advice? Yes. A little too well. And Josh has always been very willing to roll with me. Sometimes he's even the instigator.

Where have these punches rolled me? Since marrying Josh, I've gone from Colorado to Arizona to Colorado to Montana to Arizona. This new home will be Move Number 14. And that's just since 1999.

Before that, most moves were orchestrated by my parents. So, what's the grand total? 20? 47? Well, the total moves (that I can remember or have some sort of documentation of) is 34. This includes the upcoming move, the two times I moved back into my parents' home at ages 19 and 20, but it doesn't include this summer when the kids and I stayed with my parents when Josh first came to Arizona. Oh, and only four of these moves were directly related to the Air Force.

With the last six moves occurring since December 2007, spanning a total of 1718.3 miles, I figure I've rolled enough for now. I hope and PRAY this will be our last move for a while. I was at the new house with the appraiser today. I love our house. I want to live in it. I want it to last us for a long time.

34 moves is enough for now.

A New Decade....

There is so much to look forward to at the beginning of a new year, but when it's also the beginning of a new decade AND a blue moon, it's nearly overwhelming.

First of all, let me just say that 2009 was one of the most difficult years we've experienced so far. In fact, there were some things that happened that I just need some closure on. Thank goodness we get to close the door on the year, maybe that will help a little.

We had some good things too. Emma turned 8 on Easter Sunday and was baptized that evening. That was a good thing. Abby became an incredible reader and reads at least two grade levels above her age group. That's a good thing. Matt has a healthy heart and only broke one bone this year. That was a good thing. Millie turned one and scares the poop out of all of us. That really is a good thing, because we all laugh about that.

Josh got a new job, we have a new home (however temporary it is), we're all healthy and happy. It's a good way to begin the decade.

I've decided to write my goals for the year. I didn't write them last year and now I have no idea how pitifully I didn't fulfill them.

2010 Goals:

1. Stop using my pseudo-swear words. No more "crap" or "fricken" or "crap." This is going to be hard.

2. Finish my novel. Josh thinks this is going to be a lofty goal. Granted, so far I only have the Prologue, but I just rewrote it the other day and I like it so it should spur me on to finish the rest of the book, I hope.

3. Lose those last 25 lbs. I'll do this by exercising at least five days a week and eating better. That means I've got to finish the last few Diet Cherry Pepsi's in the fridge so I can stop drinking soda pop. And we've got to finish up the ice cream cake in the freezer so we can stop eating ice cream.

I think that's a pretty good start.

Here's to a new year, a new decade, and a new attitude of resolve. Cheers!

Taking a Break...

...but just for a few days.

I know, I take breaks quite a bit, but this is a scheduled one. We moved in to the rental today. Right now it's just a bunch of boxes and unassembled beds. We're sleeping at Tara and Jabon's for one more night. Tomorrow will be a major unpacking day.

Tomorrow I'm also heading with Tara to a pottery place and we're making cute things for our children as part of their Christmas presents. We've adopted Josh's parents' tradition of the 3 Wisemen gifts. Each kid gets three gifts. Last year I tried to begin the tradition of one of the gifts being homemade (hence, the pottery tomorrow). They also get a big bag of clothes and a third gift. We've been going back and forth on what the third gift will be this year. We'll let ya know later.

So, for now I bid you adieu. Have a great weekend and I'll reconnect on Monday after our internet is installed at our new place.

With Love, From Me to You

Dear Rockband Beatles,
You are really cool. You are the best video game I have ever played. Usually I can't play video games. Whether it's because I lack the hand/eye coordination or because I lack the ability to care about the game, I just don't play video games well. But you, RBB, are awesome. I love you. In fact, I want you for Christmas. I love you so much that I used a Beatles song as my title tonight. RBB, you rock my world.

Dear Shaun T.,
As the creator of the Insanity workout by Beachbody, I'm sure you realize how much of a butt-whooping your program is. But, did you realize that it is also an ab-whooping? And a rib-whooping? And a calf-whooping? And a thigh-whooping? It also whoops every other part of my body. Places I didn't even know could be whooped. This is my first week of your program and already I know it's going to be a great thing if I can keep up with you and your INSANITY!!! I get why you called it that, Shaun T. You're killing me, Smalls.

Dear Huggy-Bear (our white car),
I miss you. You've been away from the house much more than you've been home. I know you're doing your duty by taking Josh to work, not only for his regularly-scheduled shifts, but also all of the much-needed overtime he's been given. But I also missed you when you were stuck in the parking lot at the hospital with a dead battery. And I missed you this morning while you were stuck on the side of the road devoid of gas. It's nice to have you home tonight. But now I miss the van.

Dear Christmas Decorations,
I can't wait to see you! When I do it will be because we've moved in to our house and you've been salvaged from the storage unit. I can't wait to hang you, display you, and plug you in. Then maybe it will feel a little more like Christmas. Today was a cold day. It was in the 50s. I know, CD, you're totally laughing about it like I was, aren't you? I wore a short sleeved shirt while others around me wore sweatshirts and even parkas. This is fall weather, not Christmas weather. I look forward to you helping me feel the spirit of the season a little better. It will be a good day and then maybe I'll believe that Christmas is only 20 days away. Maybe.

The Haps

The haps around here (or "happenings"), are full of drama, as usual.

Mom and Dad came down from Great Falls to visit for Thanksgiving. It was such a great week and a half. They were very patient with us as we tried to secure a home for ourselves. They were also very patient when they were thrust into the home already established with 11 individuals.

We also had my brother Peter and his wife Genica here with us. We even got to see the pictures of Peter Jr (not really going to be his name, but I'll just call him that until we're told what his name will be).

Some of our highlights include:

Beatles Rockband jams. Dad has discovered his love for the Wii. So much so that Mom bought him one for his birthday. He insisted on jamming with Beatles Rockband a few times while they were here. Of course, none of us protested. We had our final session last night and I had fun watching both Mom and Dad rock out on the drumset. They had a bit of a competition to see which of them could get the higher score. It was pretty dang awesome to watch. One night we had a competition between the boys and girls. Dad, Peter, my BIL Jabon, and his brother Brighton all played against Mom, Genica, Tara, and me. Somehow the girls kept winning. Somehow! It was great fun. The boys did get a higher score than us on one song, I don't want to make it seem like we completely blew them out of the water. Not completely.

Thanksgiving. We had everyone here at Tara's house for Thanksgiving dinner. Mom's mom even made it for some visiting time earlier in the day. It was good food (which I didn't overeat, thank you very much) and good family.

Phoenix Zoo. We got to go to the zoo. It was really fun. I have to remind myself that it's not September. It's almost Christmastime. But the perfect weather at the zoo made it hard to remember how far into winter we actually are. The animals were pretty cool to see, although I was somewhat downhearted to find that they closed the alligator exhibit. That was one of my favorite animals. I think because Josh is terrified of gators and crocs. It probably didn't help his fear when he lived in South Africa and had to ride his bike down a path covered by sunbathing crocodiles. Anyway, it was fun.

Black Friday. I've never been shopping on Black Friday before. When I was working, I worked that day because I was at a bank. No days off for Black Friday when you work in the banking industry. After I quit working, we never had enough money for the shopping. Plus, what would I do with my children? Take them with me? I think not. So, Mom, Tara, Genica, and I headed out at 4:30am. I stood in line for a Ninetendo DS (don't tell Emma). But Josh and I had realized that we couldn't just get one. If you have more than one child, you know what I mean. We needed two--one for Emma and one for Ab. I did not need to hear Abby complaining that her Christmas was ruined because she didn't get cool things like Emma. By the time I'd been in line for an hour or two, it was my turn to claim my prize. I went to get one pink and one red DS. I was told I could only get one. I was freaking out! I needed to get two! I took the last pink one and went to get back in line for the second one, when Tara told me that she walked up to the lady and said she needed a red one. The lady didn't argue with her, and Tara became my hero! Now I'm fully stocked with two Nintendo DS's. I could not imagine trying to brave that madness alone. I'm so glad my mom and sisters were with me!

Just seeing Mom and Dad. I've realized that I miss Great Falls. It's only been just over two months since we left, but I do miss my friends, our ward, our house, seeing Mom and Dad whenever I want, seeing Gramma and Grampa whenever I want, seeing frost on the windows, etc. I'm a bit homesick.

Of course, I have no pictures of any of these things. But it was a great visit and I was sad dropping Mom and Dad off at the airport this morning. I'm so glad they got to fly, though. I'd hate to think of them coming and being so busy this whole time and then having to spend two days in the car.

We did secure a rental, but we won't be able to move in until we can get a truck to move out of the storage unit. We'll do that next week. It's slow, but the Lord finds it necessary to continue to try to teach us patience. I'm sure sick of this lesson and hope I can learn it soon so we can move past it.

Homeless

It's official.

The house has sold.

We are homeless.

Good thing Tara and Jabon let us squat at their house.

(Thanks, Tara and Jabon!)

"There's Only One Reason You Play Cheatin' Songs"

Today's title is courtesy of the Judds, one of my favorite female duos EVER.





Josh and I did something today that we're not totally proud of....

We cheated on our realtor!

*GASP!*

I know! We probably shouldn't have, but we had begun to grow apart. He wanted one thing and Josh and I wanted another. The communication had broken down. I guess you can say, we had irreconcilable differences.

We happened across another realtor who seems to "get" us. She gave us the attention we wanted. She didn't pressure us. She made us feel special.

We are still on the look out for our house. There are some great probabilities. I've decided to gather as much of this info as I can and then I'll be happy to explain the Arizona market to everyone. It is messed up, screwy, and overall a pain to deal with. But, as they say, it's a great time to buy.

'Fess Up Friday

Despite my late night sweet tooth, this week's efforts were successful. This week I lost 3 lbs. If I were on The Biggest Loser, I'd be below the yellow line, but I'm not, so I'm happy about this. Especially since my average weekly weightloss is about a single pound. I've about lost all the weight I packed on this summer. It makes sense that winter would be the time of year to gain weight--your body wants extra insulation for the cold--but I've found it so much easier to lose weight and stay in routine during the school year while the kids are not under foot. MWF Tara and I groggily meet each other in the living room at 5am, but Tues and Thurs I'm on my own. Those days I have the possibility of children underfoot, but the little kids don't want to exercise with me like the big kids do so they pretty much leave me alone. I'm fine by that.

So, to sum up my exercise/diet confession: Exercise = good. Food = good. Yes, I ate cookie dough this week. And yes, I let Jabon talk me into a few late night sweets (you know it's all your fault and I'm just innocent, right, Jabon?). But I tried even harder to keep my calories under control. I couldn't find a kids' plate at Ikea (don't know where one is around here) but I did try to keep my portions in line with that idea and I didn't have seconds. So far, that seems to have made a huge difference. I've also had to restock my gum supply.

In other news, in case you missed it on Facebook, we have a contract on our house. It took some negotiations -- major -- but we got it worked out. It sounds like they are first time home buyers who want the grant because they want to close by Nov 15. Hey, the sooner the better, is my thought. It'll be sad to sell our house that we've loved so much, but it's time to look around here and get ourselves into a much more permanent situation. Tara and Jabon have been very patient with us and we need to make sure we get things taken care of before we wear our welcome too thin.

Anyway, how'd you do this week?

Potpourri

I had to make sure I used the word "Potpourri" in the body of my post so I could spell check my title easier. What kind of lame thing is that? I could've used a dictionary. But I couldn't find one. So, I'm left only to use my computerized brain and abandon all decency of a well-educated woman. (Btw, I also had to spell check to make sure I spelled "decency" right. I think I have issues.)

Potpourri

I've labeled this post as Potpourri because I have several random thoughts. Of course, using that word in that context leads me to think of the TV game show Jeopardy, since it is a recurring category. That, in turn, leads me to think the of the Saturday Night Live version of the game. I'll spare you the video clip this time. I've only really been using them because my camera is busted and I don't have any current pictures (or access to any either) to share with you. Again, lame.

Millie's Choice

My little Millie-girl is getting bigger and bigger. She's very mobile: rolling, scooting (sort of), and she gets into the crawling position, but has yet to move forward. Either she moves her hands and falls onto her tummy or she moves her knees and eats the floor. She can go backwards, though. She's just getting so big.

She's also getting so smart. If you have an 8-month-old child, then I apologize in advance. Millie is the smartest 8-month-old on the planet! She loves her blanky. Oh, how she loves her blanky. She especially loves to chew on her blanky. She also loves her pacifier. Oh, how she loves her pacifier. Funnily enough, she loves to chew on her pacifier too. This is when Millie's great conundrum occurred. Millie has been trying with all of her might to figure out how she can have her blanky and pacifier in her mouth at the same time. This has been brutal for her. Of course, she wants them both when she's tired and cranky, which makes her even more tired and cranky. Last Sunday she figured out. She didn't have to choose between the two things she loves. She got them both. We were sitting in church when I looked at Millie sitting in her carseat. She was tired and ready for a nap. But she found the compromise. As she sat there with her eyes glazed in the sleepiest blank look ever, she sucked on her pacifier. Tucked in between her pacifier and her upper lip was her blanky. The bulk of her blanky cascaded down the front of her. She looked so satisfied.

'Fess Up Friday

Can I just say that I have the utmost respect for any person who is able to wake up early to exercise before the rest of their day begins? Loads of respect. Tons. This week I began packing the house. The best time to do it is while the big kids are at school. The best time while the kids are at school is in the morning when Millie is more apt to sleep. Hence, I've lost my workout time to packing. So, if I want to exercise, I have to get up at 6am to do it. I know, some of you are thinking, "Six a.m.? Half the day is gone by then." Yeah, yeah. I'm a night person. A late night person. To you early risers I say, "Midnight, Schmidnight!" My day ends as yours begins. So, needless to say (although I've already said it), waking up that early is tough. And, so, on any day that the only workout time available to me was 6am, I failed. I'll try again this week, but that snooze button is quickly becoming my best friend.

Four and a Half Days

By the time I finish writing this, it will be about four and a half days before I get to see Josh again. Can we say, "FINALLY!"? It's been 5 1/2 weeks. I know that's not that long for some people, but for me it is a loooooooong time. Loooooooooooooooong. I'd love to have the house packed before he gets here so we have nothing to do but hang out and be with each other. I'm trying. The packing is coming along. The cleaning won't be too hard. We've just lowered the price on the house by $6000, hoping that will catch some more interest. I have a good feeling about it. (If you live in Great Falls, MT, and want a house, let me know. I'll hook you up.)

Hunting License

We've been spending a lot of time in Mom and Dad's basement. Everyday when I take a shower I have to precursor-shake the shower curtain. This is because spiders like to climb the shower curtain and when the water begins to spray, they join me in the tub and scare the living daylights out of me. I hate spiders. They are gross. They're not natural. Eight legs? Hello! Freaky!! But the problem is, in Mom and Dad's basement these monsters are supernaturally big. We're talking huge. So incredibly ginormous that you have to get a hunting license from the Department of Wildlife in order to smash them with a shoe. They're not aggressive (thank Heavens!!!) but they seem a little stupid. When they know you're around, they just stay still. That might be smart for some animals, but these GIANT, dark, hairy abominations are generally on the white wall. "Wow! How'd that huge hole get in the wall? Did someone throw a softball at it?" "No, that's just a spider sitting there." Heebie jeebies. That's what I have right now.

Talking To Matt

Tonight Matt and Dad had this conversation:

Dad: Hey, Matt. I haven't talked to you much today.

Matt: (staring)

Dad: It's a Saturday and you've been home all day. I haven't talk to you nearly as much as I do on the days you have school.

Matt: (vaguely nodding)

Dad: Do you want me to talk to you now?

Matt: (thinks about it) Ok. You can talk to me.

Dad: What do you want me to say to you?

Matt: About Spider-Man.

Dad: I really like the Spider-Man movies. Do you?

Matt: Yeah, but not the one with the bad guy with the big arms.

That was their conversation. Please, see the previous section to understand how awesome I think my son is that he doesn't like 8-legged things either.

And those are my most recent thoughts. Anything random you'd like to share?

Life in the Fast and Furious Lane

Things in the Johnson Household have been INSANE to put it lightly.

Our fury in getting the house ready to show went into frenzy-mode as Josh's time to leave for Arizona grew closer. We painted, cleaned, demo-ed, retiled, grouted, plumbed, drywalled, and noticed the sun rising nearly everyday for over a week. It was rough! Seriously, the sunrise thing. I know that watching the sun rise is supposed to be a beautiful, introspection of the beauty of the earth and our place within it, but when you're getting three to four hours of sleep a night (morning), that sunrise is not as wonderful to see. But, we got most of it done before Josh left for Arizona Tuesday morning and my dad and I finished the rest of it. (Thanks, Dad!!)

These are poorly taken, but try to envision the fruits of our labors.

Our room-- no longer the beige room with beige curtains.

The family room with the infamous drywall replacement where we found the money and porn.

The new bathroom with new tile and countertop. It used to be 1970s light blue countertop and tub tile with blue/brown linoleum.

The new bathtub tile.

The newly painted mailbox, new porchlight, and new address. It's pretty.

Today's To Do List

I've decided to continue bragging about the many exploits of Shelly the Conqueror. Here's what I did today...

I scraped paint off the cement foundation and repainted it.

I helped Josh hang drywall downstairs. He had to go to work, so I finished mudding it for him. He's got plenty of places to touch up tomorrow, but it should be paint-able soon.

I painted an accent wall in Millie's room.

Now I'm sitting on my behind. This whole "fix the house so you can sell it" business is for the birds. Tomorrow's to-do list includes: getting stuff together for a yard sale, cleaning out the girls' room and Matt's room, prepping our room for paint, cleaning up the office. Unfortunately, this list includes every single thing I've been avoiding for weeks. Oh, procrastination, why do you haunt me so?

The Gypsy Daughter

My dad called me his Gypsy Daughter the other day. I think it's pretty accurate.

I've attended

8 elementary schools

1 middle school

1 junior high school

1 high school

2 colleges

I've lived in

Montana

New Mexico

Louisiana

Idaho

Utah

Colorado

Arizona

Colorado

Montana

And now we're moving again. Josh just got a job in Scottsdale, Arizona. He'll be working at a good facility in their Emergency Department. He impressed the interviewer immensely and she called to offer him the job within two hours of his interview. The best part of all this is that our family is so adventurous that we're all excited for this new change. I'm really sad to move away from my parents and grandparents, and we love our friends and Josh's job here, but we have to get more income so Josh can go back to school easier. It's going to be fun and scary and we totally expect it to be absolutely worth it.

So, now we have to put our house on the market. We think we can list it for a good $10,000 below other houses in our area so we can get a quick sale. The kids and I will have to stay here with the house until it sells. So not looking forward to that one. But before we can list it, we have to do a little fix up here and there. Josh took the wood panels down in the family room and discovered that the drywall behind it needed to be replaced. So today we demo-ed the drywall. It was like finding junk behind your wall. We found an entire thing of electrical tape. We found a nearly dissolved mouse (totally hid that one from the kids). And then we found a few other things. Matt pulled out a purse from under the stairs. (That open area in the back.)

In it was $1,863,500!!

It's hard to see, but the money is actually from the game of Life. I made the mistake of telling the kids to look for real money back there. Instead, Abby pulled out a magazine she found. Josh and I looked at the cover and FREAKED OUT!!!

Flashback: Years and years ago, I was at my friend Cindy's house and her nephew was watching as Cindy's sister-in-law and I shucked corn. He asked us what was in our hands and we told him, "Corn." His eyes brightened and he shouted, "PORN!!" We said, "No, Corn." And he shouted again, "PORN!!"

That was funny and pretty cute. Not so cute when that porn is hidden in your walls and your daughter discovers it. I think I grabbed it and threw it into the trash can outside before they realized what the lady on the cover was not dressed in.

Our next step is to put up the new drywall and paint a few rooms. I'm hoping to have everything done so we can list the house by next Monday. If you know anyone who wants a 2000+ sq ft home with 4 bedrooms (and no porn) let me know. We'd love to show them around.