It's official.
The house has sold.
We are homeless.
Good thing Tara and Jabon let us squat at their house.
(Thanks, Tara and Jabon!)
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Monday, November 16, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
"There's Only One Reason You Play Cheatin' Songs"
Today's title is courtesy of the Judds, one of my favorite female duos EVER.
Josh and I did something today that we're not totally proud of....
Josh and I did something today that we're not totally proud of....
We cheated on our realtor!
*GASP!*
I know! We probably shouldn't have, but we had begun to grow apart. He wanted one thing and Josh and I wanted another. The communication had broken down. I guess you can say, we had irreconcilable differences.
We happened across another realtor who seems to "get" us. She gave us the attention we wanted. She didn't pressure us. She made us feel special.
We are still on the look out for our house. There are some great probabilities. I've decided to gather as much of this info as I can and then I'll be happy to explain the Arizona market to everyone. It is messed up, screwy, and overall a pain to deal with. But, as they say, it's a great time to buy.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Evolution of a Mother
I recognize that I have changed a lot over the years. I am no longer the happy-go-lucky girl I once was. Now I like schedules and routines. But as much as I have changed as a person, I have also changed as a mother. Over the last 8 1/2 years I have evolved in motherhood.
Baby 1: Mommy says, "Oh, look at all these cute new baby clothes! I'm so lucky!"
Baby 4: Mommy says, "Oh, look at all these hand-me-downs! I'm so lucky!"
Baby 1: Mommy says, "Somebody went poopies! Let's change your bottom!"
Baby 4: Mommy says, "Ugh! Go change your diaper, Baby! You stink so much you're making me gag!"
Baby 1: Mommy sterilizes Baby's high chair and puts her food in a nice little bowl because even babies can learn good table manners.
Baby 4: High chair, schmigh chair. Mommy swept the floor so Baby's Cheerios go in a pile on the floor for much easier access.
Baby 1: Mommy says, "Oh no! Baby is sick! Call the doctor for an appointment in the morning."
Baby 4: Mommy says, "Someone grab me the Tylenol. We're in for a crappy night."
Baby 1: Baby is sleeping and the house is silent. Mommy can catch up on house stuff or maybe even rest.
Baby 4: Mommy yells, "YOU KIDS BETTER BE QUIET AND STOP RUNNING AROUND BEFORE YOU WAKE UP THE....OH! OH, GREAT! NOW SHE'S AWAKE, GOOD GOING, KIDS!"
Baby 1: Mommy says, "Look! Look she's walking!"
Baby 4: Mommy says, "Oh no! I just un-kid-proofed everything!"
Wow. It sounds like I've become quite cynical and negative over the last few years. Maybe someday (in at least 17 years) I'll get to be that happy-go-lucky girl again.
Baby 1: Mommy says, "Oh, look at all these cute new baby clothes! I'm so lucky!"
Baby 4: Mommy says, "Oh, look at all these hand-me-downs! I'm so lucky!"
Baby 1: Mommy says, "Somebody went poopies! Let's change your bottom!"
Baby 4: Mommy says, "Ugh! Go change your diaper, Baby! You stink so much you're making me gag!"
Baby 1: Mommy sterilizes Baby's high chair and puts her food in a nice little bowl because even babies can learn good table manners.
Baby 4: High chair, schmigh chair. Mommy swept the floor so Baby's Cheerios go in a pile on the floor for much easier access.
Baby 1: Mommy says, "Oh no! Baby is sick! Call the doctor for an appointment in the morning."
Baby 4: Mommy says, "Someone grab me the Tylenol. We're in for a crappy night."
Baby 1: Baby is sleeping and the house is silent. Mommy can catch up on house stuff or maybe even rest.
Baby 4: Mommy yells, "YOU KIDS BETTER BE QUIET AND STOP RUNNING AROUND BEFORE YOU WAKE UP THE....OH! OH, GREAT! NOW SHE'S AWAKE, GOOD GOING, KIDS!"
Baby 1: Mommy says, "Look! Look she's walking!"
Baby 4: Mommy says, "Oh no! I just un-kid-proofed everything!"
Wow. It sounds like I've become quite cynical and negative over the last few years. Maybe someday (in at least 17 years) I'll get to be that happy-go-lucky girl again.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Inspiration From the Boob Tube?
Flipping through the channels of late night television, I had an epiphany.
When you have a chance to watch a rerun (think back on your life), you get to see how the beginning of the series affects the end. And you sit there and think, "Did the writers really plan that out so brilliantly, or did it all just fall into place?" Sometimes I wonder, Is this the way my life was supposed to go or did my choices cause my path to meander and change directions?
If my life were a sitcom, I think it'd have to be called Growing Pains. Oh, wait, that's been used. Are You Smarter Than a 5-year-old? No, too close to the gameshow. Ah, I know. Sick and Tired...all about the nurse and his exhausted wife. Their four children are loud and bicker. They have the cooky in-laws (if you think I'm talking about you, you might be right). Dramatic moment cliff-hangers (some of which I've never expounded in this forum). And a live studio audience. No canned laughter for my production. And I want it funny enough to make the audience gut-laugh. You know, the kind that starts at the bottom of your stomach and bursts outloud.
Any takers?
Life is like a sitcom.
When you have a chance to watch a rerun (think back on your life), you get to see how the beginning of the series affects the end. And you sit there and think, "Did the writers really plan that out so brilliantly, or did it all just fall into place?" Sometimes I wonder, Is this the way my life was supposed to go or did my choices cause my path to meander and change directions?
If my life were a sitcom, I think it'd have to be called Growing Pains. Oh, wait, that's been used. Are You Smarter Than a 5-year-old? No, too close to the gameshow. Ah, I know. Sick and Tired...all about the nurse and his exhausted wife. Their four children are loud and bicker. They have the cooky in-laws (if you think I'm talking about you, you might be right). Dramatic moment cliff-hangers (some of which I've never expounded in this forum). And a live studio audience. No canned laughter for my production. And I want it funny enough to make the audience gut-laugh. You know, the kind that starts at the bottom of your stomach and bursts outloud.
Any takers?
Friday, September 4, 2009
A Different 'Fess Up Friday
Today is Friday. I know, shocker that I would post this today, right? Well, I've been needing to write this for a while and I figured today was as good as any other day. I'm going to be taking a break from any routine I've currently got in place. It's time to start packing up the house and getting ready for our move. So, my next posts will most likely be sporadic and I'm putting my weighloss on hold again. I'll pick it back up as soon as I can.
In an effort to make today's post about weightloss somehow, here's a clip for you to enjoy:
Today's real confession is brought to you by the letters I, M, and the word FORGETFUL. Lately I've been very forgetful of all the blessings I have, mostly since a few of the blessing I really want I don't get to have right now. So, I've got to put myself back in to check. I've been mentally compiling this list and I'm sure I'll forget things, but maybe the list will help me remember some of the good things I've got going in my life.
In an effort to make today's post about weightloss somehow, here's a clip for you to enjoy:
Today's real confession is brought to you by the letters I, M, and the word FORGETFUL. Lately I've been very forgetful of all the blessings I have, mostly since a few of the blessing I really want I don't get to have right now. So, I've got to put myself back in to check. I've been mentally compiling this list and I'm sure I'll forget things, but maybe the list will help me remember some of the good things I've got going in my life.
I AM THANKFUL FOR/THAT...
my husband and his willingness to sacrifice so much for our family * my kids and that we got to have one on one lunch dates yesterday * we had less fighting yesterday after our lunch dates * our home and how beautiful it is * the gospel * the Atonement * the canopy of trees I drive beneath on Central Ave * the incredible Missouri River * my parents' generosity * Tara and Jabon's generosity * I have an eternal optimism that never fully shuts down * comedies * it's been 45 days since we left New Mexico * laughter * tears * good friends to talk to * hugs * camera phones ;) * September 17 @ 12:35pm * the 35 to 40 lbs I've lost since moving away from Alamosa * my husband's love * my husband's laugh * my husband's sense of humor * my kids' laughs * my excitement for our new adventure
There are so many more things to add, but this would go on forever. So, I challenge you: what are you thankful for?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Learning Lessons From the Sons of Lehi
There is a series of live-action musical adaptations of the scriptures that are designed to help us liken the scriptures unto ourselves. It's called Liken. (As Matt would say, "Do you get it?") Anyway, Mom and Dad just added to their DVD collection by purchasing a few of these videos. We've had Nephi & Laban for a couple years now. I love it. The best thing about it is that it's not just a serious scripture story. They use humor and catchy tunes to tell the story. This one is the story from the Book of Mormon about Nephi and his brothers and their attempts to collect the Brass Plates from Laban.
This clip is from the brothers (Laman, Lemuel, Sam and Nephi) trying to decide who will approach Laban to ask him for the Plates. It's my favorite song from the movie.
I LOVE the boy band approach to this song (the group name is Sons of Lehi). It's no secret that I've loved boy bands since New Kids on the Block. (Yes, I was a Blockhead and I proudly wore their buttons to school--never said I wasn't a nerd!) And, I love to think that Nephi and his brothers may have worn Hammer Pants. Hilarious!
Anyway, my point (you knew I had to have one, right?). There's one song that has really sprung to mind quite a bit lately. Things have been really tough with Josh gone and our family being uprooted. I just have to remember t0 have a sunnier outlook like Nephi did. In the song Life Could Not Be Better he talks about how great things are since his family left the city of Jerusalem since it was about to be destroyed. They wandered in the wilderness for several years, but Nephi's faith never wavered.
Life Could Not Be Better
Hello my name is Nephi
I was born of goodly parents
Who taught me just to do what’s right.
See, my father has these visions
Where he knows just what to do
And I hear he had another one last night,
Ain’t that right?
My brothers Laman and Lemuel and Sam
Well, they’re the best
They always try so hard to make things fun.
(Laman) I hate you.
(Nephi) I love that one!
The older ones play games that I don’t always like to play.
(Lemuel) Let’s beat Nephi with a rod!
(Nephi) But I know that I’m the lucky one.
‘Cause life could not be better
I choose the right down to the letter
I guess this wilderness could be much wetter
But life could not be better.
Now since we left Jerusalem our lives have just improved
We got rid of all those non-necessities.
(Sister) Where’s the soap?
(Other sister) We don’t have any!
(Nephi) And of course some people mind
The kind of life we left behind.
(Laman) That’s me!
(All) This desert sun’s the only life for me.
Yes, life could not be better
Cause I choose the right down to the letter.
(Nephi) Hey, look, my mom made me a sweater!
(All) Oh, life could not be better.
(Laman) Hey, Lemuel, it’s sad to say that Dad just isn’t well
I think it’s safe to say he’s gone insane.
(Lemuel) I wish we were at home
We could die out here alone.
(Sisters) At least the world is gonna know your names!
(All) Oh, life could not be better
Cause I choose the right down to the letter.
(Nephi) At least, we’re all in this together.
(All) Oh, life could not be better.
Oh, life could not be better
Cause I choose the right down to the letter.
(Nephi) I like this wilderness. Let’s stay forever!
(Silence)
(All) Oh, life could not be better!
So, I'm likening the scriptures to my life. And totally rocking out to Nephi's boy band.
This clip is from the brothers (Laman, Lemuel, Sam and Nephi) trying to decide who will approach Laban to ask him for the Plates. It's my favorite song from the movie.
I LOVE the boy band approach to this song (the group name is Sons of Lehi). It's no secret that I've loved boy bands since New Kids on the Block. (Yes, I was a Blockhead and I proudly wore their buttons to school--never said I wasn't a nerd!) And, I love to think that Nephi and his brothers may have worn Hammer Pants. Hilarious!
Anyway, my point (you knew I had to have one, right?). There's one song that has really sprung to mind quite a bit lately. Things have been really tough with Josh gone and our family being uprooted. I just have to remember t0 have a sunnier outlook like Nephi did. In the song Life Could Not Be Better he talks about how great things are since his family left the city of Jerusalem since it was about to be destroyed. They wandered in the wilderness for several years, but Nephi's faith never wavered.
Life Could Not Be Better
Hello my name is Nephi
I was born of goodly parents
Who taught me just to do what’s right.
See, my father has these visions
Where he knows just what to do
And I hear he had another one last night,
Ain’t that right?
My brothers Laman and Lemuel and Sam
Well, they’re the best
They always try so hard to make things fun.
(Laman) I hate you.
(Nephi) I love that one!
The older ones play games that I don’t always like to play.
(Lemuel) Let’s beat Nephi with a rod!
(Nephi) But I know that I’m the lucky one.
‘Cause life could not be better
I choose the right down to the letter
I guess this wilderness could be much wetter
But life could not be better.
Now since we left Jerusalem our lives have just improved
We got rid of all those non-necessities.
(Sister) Where’s the soap?
(Other sister) We don’t have any!
(Nephi) And of course some people mind
The kind of life we left behind.
(Laman) That’s me!
(All) This desert sun’s the only life for me.
Yes, life could not be better
Cause I choose the right down to the letter.
(Nephi) Hey, look, my mom made me a sweater!
(All) Oh, life could not be better.
(Laman) Hey, Lemuel, it’s sad to say that Dad just isn’t well
I think it’s safe to say he’s gone insane.
(Lemuel) I wish we were at home
We could die out here alone.
(Sisters) At least the world is gonna know your names!
(All) Oh, life could not be better
Cause I choose the right down to the letter.
(Nephi) At least, we’re all in this together.
(All) Oh, life could not be better.
Oh, life could not be better
Cause I choose the right down to the letter.
(Nephi) I like this wilderness. Let’s stay forever!
(Silence)
(All) Oh, life could not be better!
So, I'm likening the scriptures to my life. And totally rocking out to Nephi's boy band.
Monday, July 6, 2009
I Like. Can I Touch?
Josh and I say that to each other all the time when one person has said something less than intelligent. This is why:
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Dam Joke
I've never felt too restricted in my religion, but I've never been one to shy away from a little rebellion. Although I try not to swear, this is one of my favorite jokes.
The other day we went to one of the dams. Here's what's pretty cool. There are several dams built on the falls that Great Falls is named for. The falls were discovered by Lewis and Clark in their infamous trip through the Louisiana Purchase. So we took a dam excursion.
The dam.
This is the dam suspension bridge you have to cross to get to the dam island in the middle of the Missouri River.
We had lunch on the dam island.
The kids were all running to use the dam bathrooms.
Trent and Millie. There ain't no dam joke for this one.
Dad took the kids up the dam island rocks.
Mom and the kids looking into the dam water.
I know it's a lame joke, but the dam joke makes me giggle.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day to all of my mother-friends! I hope we all get to have a nice, relaxing, stressfree day! Who am I kidding? I hope we make it through the day and don't have to yell at anyone.
I decided to post a forward I received on Facebook. It's so great that even if you've read it before, it's worth reading again.
Ask your kid(s) these questions. If you have more than one ask them separately!
1. What is something I always say to you?
Emma--Don't
Abby-No
Matt--Us going to Walmart
2. What makes me happy?
Emma--Daddy
Abby--My smile
Matt--Loving you and making you so happy from loving you
3. What makes me sad?
Emma--When we do something bad
Abby--Saying "I dont like this family"
Matt--Don't loving you
4. How do I make you laugh?
Emma--You do funny things or you say weird things in a weird voice
Abby--Tickling me
Matt--Telling jokes
5. What was I like as a child?
Emma--Funny, cute?
Abby--Funny?
Matt-- I don't know
6. How old am I?
Emma--31
Abby--31
Matt--14 or 16
7. How tall am I?
Emma--I don't know
Abby--83 inches
Matt--100 and a pound
8. What is my favorite thing to do?
Emma--Spend time with Daddy
Abby--Go to the park
Matt--Making us kids be good and not bad
9. What do I do when you're not around?
Emma--Clean up
Abby--Play with Matt
Matt--Laundry, read and you will come to my preschool to pick me up
10. If I become famous, what will it be for?
Emma--Pretty much singing because you have a beautiful voice
Abby--For me.
Matt--Cause you will have your kids all cleaning up and you will have a clean house
11. What am I really good at?
Emma--Singing
Abby--Smiling?
Matt--Teaching us kids
12. What am I not very good at?
Emma--Nothing, you're good at everything, pretty much. Oh, wait, seeing well without your glasses or contacts.
Abby--Doing this (crossing her eyes)
Matt--Teaching your friends stuff
13. What do I do for a job?
Emma--Nothing. Oh, take care of us, take care of the house.
Abby--Clean the house
Matt--Checking on your kids
14.What is my favorite food?
Emma--I know it's not fish
Abby--Chicken
Matt--Chicken
15.What makes you proud of me?
Emma--That you're very funny and make me laugh, like, all the time
Abby--For getting dogs for us
Matt--Telling me stuff like going to Disneyland
16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
Emma--Belle
Abby--My Friends Tigger and Pooh
Matt--Pooh Bear
17. What do you and I do together?
Emma--Read, sing, pretty much do everything
Abby--Girl time
Matt--Watch TV
18. How are you and I the same?
Emma--We both look really nice
Abby--Our hair, our eyes and freckles
Matt--We both have eyes and one nose and one mouth and two hands and four fingers and two legs and one tummy and one chest
19. How are you and I different?
Emma--You're a grown up and I'm a kid
Abby--Your birthmark and I don't have a birthmark there.
Matt--I don't have big toes but you have big toes
20. How do you know I love you?
Emma--You take really good care of me
Abby--Because I'm part of your family
Matt--Cuz you just told me
21. What do I like most about your dad?
Emma--He's handsome
Abby--Kissing
Matt--Kissing him
22. Where is my favorite place to go?
Emma--To Gramma and Grampa's?
Abby--I'm thinking about Burger King and McDonalds
Matt--Disneyland
So there you go. Information about me I bet you didn't even know. I had no idea I was 100 and a pound tall.
Happy Momma's Day, all!!
I decided to post a forward I received on Facebook. It's so great that even if you've read it before, it's worth reading again.
Ask your kid(s) these questions. If you have more than one ask them separately!
1. What is something I always say to you?
Emma--Don't
Abby-No
Matt--Us going to Walmart
2. What makes me happy?
Emma--Daddy
Abby--My smile
Matt--Loving you and making you so happy from loving you
3. What makes me sad?
Emma--When we do something bad
Abby--Saying "I dont like this family"
Matt--Don't loving you
4. How do I make you laugh?
Emma--You do funny things or you say weird things in a weird voice
Abby--Tickling me
Matt--Telling jokes
5. What was I like as a child?
Emma--Funny, cute?
Abby--Funny?
Matt-- I don't know
6. How old am I?
Emma--31
Abby--31
Matt--14 or 16
7. How tall am I?
Emma--I don't know
Abby--83 inches
Matt--100 and a pound
8. What is my favorite thing to do?
Emma--Spend time with Daddy
Abby--Go to the park
Matt--Making us kids be good and not bad
9. What do I do when you're not around?
Emma--Clean up
Abby--Play with Matt
Matt--Laundry, read and you will come to my preschool to pick me up
10. If I become famous, what will it be for?
Emma--Pretty much singing because you have a beautiful voice
Abby--For me.
Matt--Cause you will have your kids all cleaning up and you will have a clean house
11. What am I really good at?
Emma--Singing
Abby--Smiling?
Matt--Teaching us kids
12. What am I not very good at?
Emma--Nothing, you're good at everything, pretty much. Oh, wait, seeing well without your glasses or contacts.
Abby--Doing this (crossing her eyes)
Matt--Teaching your friends stuff
13. What do I do for a job?
Emma--Nothing. Oh, take care of us, take care of the house.
Abby--Clean the house
Matt--Checking on your kids
14.What is my favorite food?
Emma--I know it's not fish
Abby--Chicken
Matt--Chicken
15.What makes you proud of me?
Emma--That you're very funny and make me laugh, like, all the time
Abby--For getting dogs for us
Matt--Telling me stuff like going to Disneyland
16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
Emma--Belle
Abby--My Friends Tigger and Pooh
Matt--Pooh Bear
17. What do you and I do together?
Emma--Read, sing, pretty much do everything
Abby--Girl time
Matt--Watch TV
18. How are you and I the same?
Emma--We both look really nice
Abby--Our hair, our eyes and freckles
Matt--We both have eyes and one nose and one mouth and two hands and four fingers and two legs and one tummy and one chest
19. How are you and I different?
Emma--You're a grown up and I'm a kid
Abby--Your birthmark and I don't have a birthmark there.
Matt--I don't have big toes but you have big toes
20. How do you know I love you?
Emma--You take really good care of me
Abby--Because I'm part of your family
Matt--Cuz you just told me
21. What do I like most about your dad?
Emma--He's handsome
Abby--Kissing
Matt--Kissing him
22. Where is my favorite place to go?
Emma--To Gramma and Grampa's?
Abby--I'm thinking about Burger King and McDonalds
Matt--Disneyland
So there you go. Information about me I bet you didn't even know. I had no idea I was 100 and a pound tall.
Happy Momma's Day, all!!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
No Urkels Allowed
A couple of days ago I brought this idea up to Josh:
Why can't there be a sitcom that's clean, meaning it's focus is not sex? The shows I like all have a strong theme of sex running through them. So, I've decided to stop watching them. Josh and I both have for the good of our children. They don't need to have that theme paraded in front of them and what's bad for them is bad for us, too. Just because we're adults doesn't mean our spirits are any stronger than our childrens'. Is this getting too deep?
Anyway, I wish there was a situation comedy that the whole family could watch that was funny. Like, FUNNY. Like, laugh-out-loud-belly-laugh funny. If I were a sitcom writer (or even a playwright), I'd write up the pilot and send it to LA. If anyone else wants to write it, I'll act in it. Happily! I bet we could get quite a following.
The only risk we'd take is making it a lame show full of corny jokes and Steve Urkel. Funny but annoying after a while. (Sorry, Celine, for referencing another old American tv show. Here's a clip.)
Why can't there be a sitcom that's clean, meaning it's focus is not sex? The shows I like all have a strong theme of sex running through them. So, I've decided to stop watching them. Josh and I both have for the good of our children. They don't need to have that theme paraded in front of them and what's bad for them is bad for us, too. Just because we're adults doesn't mean our spirits are any stronger than our childrens'. Is this getting too deep?
Anyway, I wish there was a situation comedy that the whole family could watch that was funny. Like, FUNNY. Like, laugh-out-loud-belly-laugh funny. If I were a sitcom writer (or even a playwright), I'd write up the pilot and send it to LA. If anyone else wants to write it, I'll act in it. Happily! I bet we could get quite a following.
The only risk we'd take is making it a lame show full of corny jokes and Steve Urkel. Funny but annoying after a while. (Sorry, Celine, for referencing another old American tv show. Here's a clip.)
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