The Magician's Assistant

There's one job I've never considered doing.  A magician's assistant.  I just never thought about it before.

But it's a life of adventure, danger, and even mystery.  Haven't you ever seen The Prestige?  Never mind the fact that Josh had to explain it to me because I didn't get it.  (Don't judge me.)  There are lots of things the assistant does.  She keeps the audience entertained while the magician subtly sets up for the next trick.  She also distracts them at just the right moment for the trick to completely succeed.  She brings props onstage and takes them off.  Sometimes she is the prop. 

Have you ever seen the knife throwing trick?  You know, the one where the magician throws the daggers and they barely miss the confident and always-smiling assistant all around her head and torso. 

Recently a stranger gave us the chance to be the assistant to his magician.  It all started when his truck backed into our car in a private parking lot.  He apologized for not looking before pulling out of his spot.  It seemed like it would easy enough to get the puncture from the corner of his bumper out of the door of our car.  He seemed like a nice guy.

Then the magic began.

The nice guy donned his top hat, twisted his mustache, and pulled out the daggers.

Dagger 1: When we called his insurance to file the claim, they told us that he reported that he and Josh both backed out at the same time.  As an eye witness to this collision (I was in the van watching Josh so I could back out as well) I can assure you that Josh had backed out of his parking spot, already stopped and was about to drive away.

Dagger 2: It's no secret that we don't care much for our car.  It has issues.  So if we have to endure the pain and suffering of filing claims and standing in front of the dagger target board, Mr Magician, make it worth our while!  I don't know how much it'll cost to fix our door.  We don't even know if it will open or close.  We haven't tried it yet because we can't take the chance that it won't close since Josh has to drive it to and from work.  But it's not going to total it.  It's just going to inconvenience us.  A lot. 

Dagger 3: I got a call today from our insurance telling us that Mr Magician had filed a claim against us.  Enter daggers 4 thru 12.  Excuse me, sir.  I need to turn around so you can target my back where all of your daggers actually belong.  I don't know how this guy can live with the thought of expecting us to take care of his bumper.  He didn't look where he was going.  He ran into Josh.  He has some nerve thinking he's justified. 

Thank you, Mr Magician, for giving me a chance at a job I never knew I never wanted.