I'm not a good enough mother.
I'm not disciplining my children enough.
I discipline my children too much.
I don't have a clean enough house.
I'm not close enough to being ready for Christmas.
I don't give enough of myself to my husband.
I don't give enough of myself to myself.
I'm not exercising consistently enough to feel good about myself.
I need a haircut.
I eat too much junk food.
I don't feel guilty enough about eating too much junk food.
I feel like I'm barely staying afloat in my calling at church.
I feel like I'm overly invested in my calling at church.
The last one is the thing on my mind tonight. Mostly because I've been working on stuff for church for the last several hours. In January, 25 of my 52 nursery kids are heading to Primary with the older kids. (We'll only have 27 kids, whatever will we do?) They will be in a class called the Sunbeams. Because they are 3 years old, there are plenty of worries for these little guys to be able to sit still for nearly an hour before they go to class and have to sit still again. That's a lot of stillness for such little kids.
So we've been practicing. We've had Sharing Time and music time. The kids have been sitting in their chairs and raising their hands and offering answers. They are smart. And they know who Jesus is. Really, isn't that all that matters?
Tomorrow we are going on a field trip to the Primary room where some of the kids will see their brothers and sisters. Even some of their parents. I'm excited for them. It's a fun change.
I've taken it as a personal challenge to make sure these little ones are taught what will be expected from them in Primary. You can imagine how big Junior Primary will be if there are 25 3-year-olds. Not all of the age groups have 25 kids, but they are all large. If we sent 25 rowdy 3-year-olds into a room with 100(?) other kids, what sort of learning and sharing could occur? Not much, I can tell you that.
So along with our practice Sharing Time and our field trip to Primary tomorrow, I also made necklaces for the kids to have tomorrow. They have a picture of a sun and the middle of the sun says, "Sunbeams in Training".
I sat there looking at my creations and thought, "This is fun! I really hope the kids like these!"
Then the Debbie Downer in me popped up again. "Why am I putting this much energy into something no one will appreciate? 98% of all handouts end up in the garbage." Yes, that's a scientific fact.... I'm guessing.
So I hope that the things I've struggled with all day end up being worth it in the end. I'll know by tomorrow morning.
As for the rest of my Debbie Downer list, check back with me in about 60 years.
4 comments:
The necklaces are cute! I bet them liked them. It's gotta be nice to think that you are going to be down by about 50%.
Don't be such a Debbie Downer. You are great! And I love you! :)
I hadn't see the clip and I loved it!!! I wish you wouldn't be a Debbie Downer on yourself because I think you are simply fantastic and love you just the way you are!!! xoxo
Oh Shelly---maybe it is because we have lot in common--theather mormon moms, but I can not tell you how my list looks the exact same!
BUT I can tell you that you are amazing!! I would have LOVED to have you in my nursery! You are totally rocking it! Getting them ready for sunbeams is more than anyone could ask you. As a Primary President we planned on the first few weeks, months, being diffult for the little ones. But most of them survive--even the hardest ones learn to sit mostly still long enough to get through sharing and singing time.
Plus--you are amazing (the picture of your stockings looks great and your house looks amazing!). I have learned alot of times we have no idea how much these kids are absorbing. Even if they don't remember the exact "sunbeam in training" necklace--they will remember that they are suppost to sit down and listen during sharing time. Their parents (well, the smart ones) will remember what an excellent example you have been to their children.
I understand with all the pressures of being a women, wife, mother, member of the church, and 100 other labels we have it is hard not to get down. Relax, enjoy this time of the season (both as in the Christmas season and in this season of your life), and get sleep.
know that you are still a hero in my book and i look to you for strength and guidance--great did I just give you more stress?---well don't worry about it, because you being YOU is what I find most inspiring!!
I like you.
:)
And I'm planning on doing my stockings just like yours, as soon as I get the energy and supplies to copy you.
Wanna know what I did as a substitute nursery leader yesterday? Watched 5 kids play with toys. Nobody raised their hands, and I managed to get two of them to repeat "Jesus" when looking at the picture.
I counted that as a way successful lesson.
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