Mottos by Mom

As a mother I say things, but they aren't what I really mean. I think I should just start calling a spade a spade and be honest with myself and all those around me.

Instead of: Come inside for dinner.
Should be: Come inside and complain about what my last two hours of effort have created.

Instead of: Get into bed and stay there.
Should be: Stay in your bed before I go insane because I need the quiet time.

Instead of: Don't hit your sister.
Should be: Don't hit your sister because it's annoying when she whines about it and I won't be so sympathetic when she tries to hit you back if you do it.

Instead of: Do your chores, please.
Should be: Start your whining about how mean a mother you have and that your leg/arm/head/stomach hurts.

I'm sure there are more, but I'm distracted. Emma is currently whining about her leg hurting even though she's supposed to be filling the dishwasher. And the amazing thing is that I wrote that last one before the whining began.

I called it!!

Wonderings of a Former Actor

Lately I've been thinking about "Do Overs". If I had the chance to do something over again, would I?

What exactly I'm thinking about is "Would I do my college acting career over again if I had the chance?"

My first show, September 2003, that's me in the background.

My answer to that is, "I don't know."




A lot of incredible things happened when I went onstage in college. Onstage I found a person I never knew existed. A strong woman who worked hard and did well. I loved basking in the energy of a room full of people awaiting to see what art I could accomplish. I enjoyed the challenge of playing a person so completely different than me. I lived on the adrenaline rush of making an audience laugh or cry. I got to do things that others only dream of doing.

My brother JC and me (again in the background) in DMW. May 2006.

But there were some things that weren't nearly so positive. If you noticed, all the good things focus on me and my feelings. This was my major, my experience, my necessity. Josh actually got to share quite a bit of this experience with me, so I had him with me for a lot of it, but I expected a lot of support from him, more than I gave him I'm afraid to admit.



I also was required to read, watch, and act plays and movies that were not uplifting. My spirituality took a hard hit during my years at school. Besides my incredible husband, I think the only other thing that really saved my activity in the church was my calling as the Gospel Doctrine teacher. It was a tough calling to keep up with, especially with my hectic schedule, but the Lord knew I needed it. I needed it more than my class needed me.

DMW again. I only seem to have pictures from the dramas, not comedies. I look constipated.

I also had rehearsals from 7pm to 10pm Monday through Friday for six to twelve weeks a semester. That's a lot of missed bedtimes. A lot.

This is from one of the shows we took from drama to comedy two days before we opened. But this is just me backstage getting ready. I had to eat liverwurst onstage. The sign of a dedicated actor is when you don't gag on gross food your character loves. Blech! Feb 2005.

Writing it out, it seems obvious. If I had my college acting career to do over again, would I? No, I wouldn't. But that's because I already know that I was pretty good at what I did and I no longer need to prove anything to myself.

What's really important.

Now, I have an incredible husband, four strong and beautiful kids, a wonderful home, extended family I get to see often, and a strong testimony of the Gospel. Right now, this is what I need. It's even what I want (most days). And maybe I'll get to do theatre again someday. Maybe I'll even get to do it on my terms.

Wouldn't that be nice?

The Bloggest Loser -- Week Twelve

Last week saw two winners tied at 1% each: Mindy and Carina. So glad we've got a few more people in here with us.

We only have a couple of weeks left. Three, to be exact. Are you hanging in there?

I've hit a few realities this weekend. I'm late posting this (obviously) and it's because I haven't been into this at all. In fact, if I weren't hosting this competition, I'd have quit a long time ago. My heart has not been into losing weight, therefore I have lost no weight. I've actually gained five pounds since we began this. I don't know exactly why I'm struggling with this so much, but it's surrounded by excuses: It's too hot, I don't have time, My kids need me, My husband needs me, My family is in town, The bad food I bought the other day needs to be eaten and not wasted. It's everyone's fault but mine!!! I know that I'm not going to win our competition, but I sure am facing a lot of my obstacles and trying to learn how to overcome them. It hasn't worked yet, but maybe I still have some hope. Maybe I can figure out what I need. I don't need a huge body make over. I just want to slim down about 20 lbs so when I gain a little holiday weight I don't have to worry that I'm back in the overweight category. Or at risk for diabetes like both of my parents. Or look like the fat, mean ogre-mom I've become a few too many times lately.

So, post your weight lost, but if you can, please post something you've learned about yourself during this experience. Does a certain routine work better? A certain exercise? A certain diet? A certain hobby or habit? I could really use some inspiration. Let me know what's working for you. And that this competition hasn't been a waste of time!!!

A Lesson on Marriage

When I first went back to school in 2003, I decided to be a Secondary Education Major with an emphasis in Theatre. Sounds fun, but it was a lot of work. This major is actually equivalent to three separate majors: secondary education, theatre, and English. The reason for the English portion of the degree is because it's very difficult to find a theatre teaching position, so as an English teacher I could coach or direct drama as an after-school club, which is the way the school funds seem to be heading. I also had to take classes on teaching debate, something I'm not very good at and very much not interested in. Our teacher was actually the local high school debate teacher and he saw this more as a blow off class than the students did.

My debates were rarely researched, generally poorly argued, and overall abysmal. I don't like debating over any subject and I often found myself on one side of an argument with all my much-more-liberal classmates on the other side. I hated the class.

But there were a few times that I argued for something I truly felt inspired by. I argued for the Pro-Life side of abortion. I argued for respecting our Veterans. And I argued for the sanctity of marriage.

In the marriage debate, I became so impassioned for my cause that I forgot that my statements would most likely not be readily accepted. I shared the personal experience of the man who sealed Josh and me for Time and Eternity and his advice to us. He told us that if we always thought of, and acted on behalf of, the other person we'd never have to fall into selfishness and begin worrying about ourselves. In essence, if I do everything I can to care for, love, and provide for Josh and he does the same for me, I never have to worry about myself. I'm taken care of, Josh is taken care of and our bond grows even stronger. We become a stronger unit with Jesus Christ as our Center.

I finished my speech and I could see the look of disbelief in the eyes of every member of the class. The argument quickly became "How can you trust someone to always be there for you?"

I realized this topic was beyond their capabilities to understand. My love and faith in another person is greater than my own selfish limitations. But every one of them walked away from class that evening convinced that I had no clue.

But now, here it is years later and I'm seeing the effects that this advice has had on Josh and me. We still have years to experience this more, but what I've seen lately proves to me that I'm much happier when I devote my life to Josh than to myself.

My husband loves me. He treats me like a queen, and has since before we were married. He looks for ways to help me. He wants nothing but to make me laugh and be happy.

Two nights ago, Josh refused to watch a movie that my brother-in-law suggested. It's the Percy Jackson movie. I had told Josh when the movie first came out that I didn't want to see it because I don't want it to influence my own Greek gods story I'm writing. He was so loyal to me. It's probably really stupid for me to be like this, but he stuck by me and even stood up for me.

Then, last night, Josh ordered a gift for me. A few weeks ago I revealed to him a desire of mine. For quite some time now I've been wanting to learn how to play the acoustic guitar. So last night I discovered that Josh was getting me a guitar with lessons on DVD.

How can anything go wrong when I have such an incredible and loving man always watching out for me? He makes me whole. And I hope that someday those classmates and teacher of mine will be able to understand that I wasn't delusional. I was enlightened.

Matt's Birthday

Matt's birthday was last Tuesday. I can't believe my little boy is 6!

He got a new bike. He loves it, but it's a little too tall for him to easily get on to. He has to climb up the little electrical box in the yard to get on it. Then, he has to gracefully fall to get off it. He'll get it, I'm sure.


As you can see, riding it is not an issue.

Matt had two cakes. One on Tuesday with his sisters and cousins. His cake has Mega Tron and Optimus Prime on it.

His second cake has Star Wars figures on it. We had this one Sunday as our 4th of July cake with his sisters, cousins, aunt, uncle, and grampa. For months Matt told me he wanted me to make him a cake with Darth Vader and Yoda fighting. In the middle of the cake was supposed to be a sheet of glass holding Yoda so it can look like he's suspended in the air. Yeah. As much as I love my only son, there is a limit to my (and Josh's) cake decorating abilities. I did manage to make him an ice cream cake after seeing he didn't eat a bite of his Transformers cake. But, the Star Wars figures were $8 (marked down from $22.99) and so they sufficed for his decoration. He didn't seem to mind.

And look at the two babies. Cracks me up that they are the two kids hovering over Matt and the cake.

Here's my big boy at his bedroom door.

Happy birthday, Matt-Matt. I love you!!

The Bloggest Loser -- Week Eleven

Cindy won last week. Go, Cindy. Just imagine what can happen once you're allowed to exercise.

I'm sick. And it was Matt's birthday week. I did not complete very many of my goals. My head is currently so stuffy that I don't know that it's safe for me to write this, but I'm already late getting it posted. Anyway, I'm stable. My plateau is safe. The goose egg is secure.

So, do I dare, with my current state of mind, try to tell a little about the few who have stayed constant with me through this journey? Of course. Who am I to back down from a challenge? Everyone who's still in this is tough. You can all handle what I may or may not say about you. (I would throw out a crazy kind of laugh here, but I'd start sneezing or something and ruin the effect.)

Okay....

Amy. You can read her blog at Larsons Are Lucky. Amy and I met at Adams State in Colorado when we were both Theatre students. We didn't really know each other before we worked together on Good Night, Desdemona Good Morning, Juliet. I remember finding it surprising that we had been theatre majors together for a year and hadn't met. Not only because our department was small, but because we were the only two active Mormons in the department. It's funny how we Mormons gravitate to each other, no matter where we are. Amy and I were friends from the time we worked on Desdemona on. We were both pregnant during our time in school and took turns nursing our little babies in the Green Room. We lost touch for a while after college, seeing each other only occasionally in Walmart, but Facebook brought us back together. I like Amy. She has two beautiful little girls and is the busy wife of a trucker.

Carina. I lost Carina for a while, but the magic of Facebook brought us back together again too. Carina and I have been friends for a long time. I think our friendship really blossomed senior year of high school when we both served on the Seminary Council for our Released Time Seminary classes. We had so many great spiritual moments. I will always remember those first few weeks, especially, when we bonded and came together. Carina is such a meek person. I don't know if everyone understands the incredible compliment I mean that as. Meekness is Power under Control. This is what Carina is. She is a person of such strength, but she does everything with such love and kindness. I don't think there's a mean bone in her body (to use a bad cliche, but I mean it). She has five children and obviously adores them very much.

Cindy. Cindy has been my BFF since about 1992. Right? Cindy, if that's wrong, remember I'm sick. For Cindy's wedding each of her friends were asked to create a quilt square signifying some aspect of our friendship. Would it surprise anyone if I were to say my quilt square has a movie quote on it? I chose my first real memory of her. One day in 8th grade Cindy came bouncing over to me in our PE class. I sat in the back of the last row because we sat alphabetically. Cindy asked me, "Shelly, what's your last name?" I said, "I can't tell you that." "Why not?" I told her, "Because you're a straaaanger." That's a direct quote from Home Alone and Cindy played right into my 14-year-old-overly-dramatic hands. Cindy and I have never lost touch. She's an incredible friend that has been with me through junior high, high school, college, singlehood, young marrieds, childlessness, childbirth, ups, downs, the worst times of my life, and the best. I'm getting mushy and I know she doesn't care for that, but I love her and (except for Josh) she's the best friend I've ever had. She has four beautiful little boys -- although I've got to go see Number Four for myself. And she's the epitome of the term "Domestic Goddess."

We only have a month left of our competition. Think we can do any good? Calculate your weight loss and leave a comment. If you want to join us for the last few weeks, do it. I have a lot of weight to lose to reach my goal, so if you're just starting, you won't be far behind. At all.

So, tell me your percentage lost, your highs, your lows, your favorite color, your favorite imaginary creature. Whatever you need to get off your chest. And hopefully I'll be feeling better soon and back to my exercise regime. Hopefully.

The Eye Doc

So today we went to the eye doctor. Josh's and my eyes definitely needed some love. He's been wearing the same contacts for WAY too long and my glasses got stepped on the other day and nearly broke.

The girls also needed some eye attention. They are both getting readers that I pray they grow out of over time. Pictures will come after their new glasses get here.

We had a HUGE bill by the end of the day, but as ridiculous as it was, I was forced to consider how ridiculous the entire situation was.

I'm pretty sure eye doctors have a bit of a scam going on....

We walk in and agree to get a full check up because, hey, it's our eyes. We need to see. I remember the first pair of glasses I got. I was a sophomore in high school. I needed them to see the chalkboard. I hated wearing them, but I remember looking up into the night sky (standing still because otherwise I'd fall over with my new depth perception) and seeing stars. I hadn't realized until that moment that I hadn't seen stars in a long, long time. They were beautiful.

So, being able to see is important. We get the full check up, including the drops to dilate our eyes. We know Josh and I need new glasses, but now so do Emma and Abby.

By the time we are ready to pick out all our frames, our eyes are so dilated that we can't see clearly. Here's where the scam begins.

First, if you need glasses, but you're looking through clear lenses, you can't truly see what you look like. I think this is why so many people that wear glasses don't like to see themselves wearing them: they couldn't see what they looked like when they bought them. Hence, ensuring another trip in the future to buy a new pair of glasses.

The second part of the scam is the darn dilation. After trying on a few frames, you look at the price and notice that you can't see the price. It's in small print on the tag on the arm of the frame and you can't even read the LARGE print on the posters in the waiting room. You have no idea what you're about to pay. You have to say something along the lines of, "Matt, tell Mommy what these numbers are one at a time."

And then the final part is the "insurance" trick. After all the tallying, we actually saved about 50%. Doesn't mean we didn't spend an arm and a leg anyway. I'm soooo nervous for the girls to have glasses, especially glasses they don't have to wear all the time.

Maybe I can win back some of the money we spent today if I start a pool on who will lose or break their glasses first. Any takers?

Abby's Baptism

Look at my beautiful girl.....


Abby was baptized June 19th. She said after she came out of the water that she felt so good! She was very happy and made Josh and me happy.

Abby and Josh right after she got out of the font and changed. I love her smile!!

We had a bit of a full house. It's hard to see everyone, but this is about half of our guests after the baptism.

Here's another view.

Josh grilled burgers and hot dogs. He's also sporting an original Taft! t-shirt. For those who didn't know, Taft! is my Non-Registered Trademark for artistic endeavors. My sister Tara and I tie-dyed a bunch of shirts for all of Abby's cousins and then went ahead and dyed some for the aunts and uncles too. It was a fun afternoon and made the BBQ nice and bright and colorful!

Me cutting the cake. I'm usually the one behind the camera, but my BIL Jabon was awesome enough to take pics for us. So, here it is. Me. In a picture.

And our beautiful, happy, and wonderful Abbalicious. She had a great day and I love and thank everyone who shared in her happiness with us!!