Angel of Music

We did it.

We went to Vegas.

And we even took the kids.

Oh, it was a wonderful 18-hour vacation.  It really was too bad that it didn't last longer.  But I'm so glad we got to dash out when we did.

We stopped at the Hoover Dam on the way.

Dam.

We took a dam tour, walked the dam sidewalks, took some dam pictures, and stopped at the dam shop to buy some dam souvenirs.  We had some dam fun.

Dam bridge

We got to our hotel (the Mirage) and checked in.  The kids LOVED our "fancy" room but we all hated having to walk through the casino to get to the elevators.  Major bummer there, but we survived.

We were a little early for Phantom so we took a trip to the Secret Gardens behind the Mirage where you can see a pool of dolphins and the animals once used by Siegfried and Roy.  The two magicians just happened to be there right then and they agreed to take some pictures with fans.  We took the opportunity to steal a few photos of them.  We noticed the animals sense their trainers as they neared the cages, despite the fact that Siegfried and Roy were completely surrounded by other people.  The animals would all get up and come to the area of the cage their trainers were standing by and seemed to be waiting for instruction.  It was quite a phenomenon.  After Siegfried and Roy moved away from the cage, the animals would all go back to sitting still just as they had before.

Watching the dolphins

On our way out we watched the dolphins swimming around.  We went below deck to see them underwater.  I've never seen dolphins before so I think I was just as amazed as the kids.

Finally it was time to go to dinner and our show.  We went across the street to the Venetian and had dinner at the restaurant connected to the Cheesecake Factory, which happened to be next door to the Phantom theater.  Dinner was good.  But who really remembers that when you have Phantom to look forward to?

We walked into the theater and were immediately awed.  The theater was custom built for the show and cost $40 million.  And you can tell.  It's been running at the Venetian for six years, but will finally close on September 2.  We HAD to go now so we didn't miss our opportunity to see it.  And it was absolutely worth it.

The view from our seats

Our seats were in the mezzanine (balcony area) and were definitely the "affordable" seats.  But our view was just as amazing as it could've been anywhere else in the theater.  We didn't realize it until later, but we had the best view of the chandelier, which in this production is as much a live character as any of the people singing and dancing on stage.

As the lights finally dimmed, I watched Matt out of the corner of my eye.  He sat between Josh and me because he was worried the play would be as scary as the movie.  But his eyes grew WIDE as he saw the actors come alive onstage and as the chandelier began its surge to life (I can't explain this to you without taking away some of the magic of it, so you'll just have to go with it and see the production yourself) Matt grabbed the sides of his chair as he nearly jumped out of it, mouth agape, and eyes about to pop.  I couldn't help but be moved by his reaction.  He was loving the magic of theatre, something I love so very much.  My eyes filled with tears and probably didn't stop filling until half an hour after the show ended.  The girls sat on the other side of Josh and he said their reactions were just about the same.

The show itself was incredible.  There wasn't a weak link in the performance.  The acting and singing was amazing.  The casting had been spot on.  There was more scenery in this production than I remember seeing in San Francisco in 1995.  But the curtain-sweeping scene changes still flowed beautifully from one scene to the next.  The special effects wowed the audience.  And that darn Phantom just showed up all over the place.  He's at the bottom of the stairs, then suddenly back at the top.  He's above the rooftop.  He's hanging from the chandelier!

The music was absolutely brilliant.

There is really only one word that can describe the show and the reactions of my children to it: Magical.

Afterward we asked the kids about their favorite parts.

Emma: She couldn't pin down one favorite moment.  In fact she told me, "I can't even name my favorite 1000 parts!"

Abby: "The whole thing!"

Matt:

• When Phantom hung from the chandelier
• When Phantom went from the bottom of the stairs and in a poof of smoke appeared at the top of the stairs
• When Phantom appeared in the mirror and took Christine to the dungeon
• When Phantom disappeared at the end
• (Can you guess Matt's favorite character?)

All in all, it was a quick trip, it cost us a bit of our state tax refund, and we were a bit late getting home (I was about 20 minutes late for the Cub Scout meeting being held at our house).  But it was definitely time and money well spent.  

A memory we will always remember.

Great Expectations

Expectations are a funny thing.

13 years ago I expected to be proposed to on Valentines Day, even though Josh specifically said he wasn't going to propose that day.  I just thought he was trying to throw me off.  

He didn't propose that night.  But he still made the day as special as possible because he's just that kind of guy. It's one of the reasons I agreed to marry him when he did finally get around to proposing.... a month later.

This year I expected a great and wonderful day with Josh.  And really, any day I get to spend with him is wonderful.  But this year V-day started off a bit rocky.

I had one of those "I know I shouldn't hate you but I kinda do right now" dreams about Josh.  I dreamt he wanted to become a polygamist.  And in this dream one of his other wives was his favorite.  

Yeah, nice dream, right?

So I wake up on Vals to the thought of my husband wanting lots of women and I'm not really one of them.  It probably took all morning for me to not want to punch him in the face for betraying me.  Well, sort of betraying me.

Suddenly my expectation of Valentines took a major dive.

I got some take out for lunch that day as a special treat for Abby since she's homeschooling and didn't get to exchange cards and candy.  I drove home with our spoils and told Millie that I was so hungry.  I asked her if she was so hungry.  Expecting to hear her excited for this lunch I just bought she said, "No."

I asked her, "You're not so hungry?  Why not?"

She told me, "Because I eat my boogers."

Lovely.

It was finally four o'clock and Josh and I get to leave for our date for the evening.  I had finally calmed down enough from my dream that I no longer wanted to punch him in the face and we had a great time out.  We stopped at Papa John's to prepay for a pizza delivery for the kids for dinner.  The girl at the counter verified our address and as she said it the guy walking behind her said, "Sweet!  I love delivering to you guys.  You tip well."

Josh tipped him extra-well that night.  Hopefully that exceeded his expectations.

We went to dinner and a movie.  It was a great night out and we always love spending time together.  That part of the date was as great as I had expected.

We found ourselves with two hours left of our time with our babysitter before she had to be home.  We didn't really know what to do and just as we decided what the next part of Valentines Adventure Date would be, we got a call from home saying Millie had barfed all over her bed and the sitter had her in the tub to clean it all off her.

Not the way I had expected to end our date, but it sure was nice to have Josh home on the night I had a barfing kid.  

It just goes to show, expectations really mean nothing.  The day is going to go as the day will go.  But thank you, Josh, for helping me to have as nice a V-day as could be expected.

The Phantom...Is Here Inside My Mind

There are some things my family loves:

Pizza

Disneyland

LDS Temples

and 

Phantom of the Opera

Every night for the last week I've listened to the three older kids sing selections from the soundtrack to Phantom of the Opera as they clean up the kitchen.

So when Josh suggested we go to Vegas to watch the show before it closes at the end of the summer, I told him we could never tell the kids we went.  They'd freak out.  Luckily for our children, they have the coolest dad ever and he said, "Then let's all go."

And we are.  It's our Valentine's gift to our family.  A night in Vegas staying at the Mirage.

And then a trip to the Venetian for a couple hours as our family creates memories we will (hopefully) always remember.

The only bummer is we will need to leave Millie behind.  Oh, the sadness of being 3 and energetic.  But someday we'll make more memories with her included.

In the meantime, I am so excited to go with our family and enjoy a night of theatre.

Seeking the Good?

It's been hard to think of a bunch of happy and positive things to write about lately.  Mostly because of Poignant Fact Number One:

Being the mom is hard.

The last month or so has reminded me of the Mommy-guilt I get every so often.  Do I enjoy being a mother?  The immediate answer is always, Yes, of course I do.

But the real question is actually, Do I enjoy being a stay-at-home mother?

This answer doesn't resound in my mind as quickly.  Staying home with four kids all day is hard work.  It's not easy to give 100% of myself to other people all morning, afternoon, AND evening.  Someday I do hope to use the bathroom without a knock on the door and a small voice calling, "Mom?"  Because I'm home I'm able to home school our feisty 9-year-old who tells me daily that school is stupid and she hates it.  My 3-year-old wants to wear her pretty Dora underpants, but 2 minutes after an uneventful trip to the potty she has an accident in them (not an exaggeration).  If you could hear what the kids say after I ask them to do their chores you'd think I had actually asked them give all their toys away.

It's just not easy.

It doesn't help when I read or hear stories of other mothers and their seemingly perfect relationships with their children.  To them it seems to be a privilege to stay home and snuggle and hug their little precious ones.

Thing is, it is a privilege.  So why don't I recognize it?

Some of my friends had the chance to go to Time Out For Women in Layton, UT, this weekend.  The theme was "Seeking the Good."  I thought about this today and I remembered a quote by President Gordon B. Hinckley.  He quoted Jenkins Lloyd James when he said,

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."

I obviously need to be more grateful to have the chance to be with my children everyday.  They really are good kids, even if they do hate vacuuming or doing math.  My husband willingly and lovingly works 72 hours a week to keep our bills paid and allowing me to have the chance to be with our kids and watch them grow. I get to play hide-and-seek with a 3-year-old who hides her face, counts to three, then celebrates when she finds me as I'm still sitting in the same spot I was when she began counting.

And let's not forget the soccer-playing baby in my belly who had a 25% chance of going the same way as the last two pregnancies.  But she didn't.  She's still here and she happily makes herself known.

I have a lot to be thankful for.  I just have to deal with all the blah of reality and look beyond it to my blessings.

At the beginning of my theatre degree program the professors often said, "If you can imagine yourself doing anything else in the world other than theatre, do it."  Theatre is life-consuming and rarely immediately rewarding.  The hours are ridiculously long and the pay is pathetic, if it even exists.

Same with motherhood and staying home with my children.

But I can't imagine doing anything else in the world.

So maybe I don't always enjoy being a stay-at-home mom.  But that doesn't mean I'm not thankful for the ride.

  

Top Five Reasons Millie Says She Can't Sleep

5.  "I watch Dora!"

4.  "I sleep with you!" (Meaning she wants to lay in my bed and watch Dora.)

3.  "I have drink of water?"

2.  "I crying!"

And Number One:

"My eyes are open!"

Here's hoping she falls asleep soon!

The Teeter-Totter Theory

I've recently discovered that I'm pretty typical.

I'm not the only woman in this world that takes on too much.  That tries to do things perfectly and seemingly effortlessly.  That has a million balls up in the air that are all about to fall at any second.

But I can't juggle.  Mine is a teeter-totter and I'm up in the air with all my stresses sitting at the bottom of the totter.  Sometimes one little shift of events/stresses knocks me off my teeter-totter. That really did happen to me once when I was about ten.  My leg got pinned under the teeter-totter as it crashed to the ground and it hurt ... a lot.  So the prospect of falling off my teeter-totter really kind of freaks me out.

But it happens.  My house is often a mess.  My dishes are rarely done by a decent time of day.  I have toilets that needs scrubbing.  I have tons of friends that seem to have so much in place where I lack.  (All that sentence does is prove that I have a major issue with comparing myself to others.)  I can't say no, even when I really, really should.

I think I'm entitled to a few bad days here and there.

Sometimes it's really easy to blame the hormones.  They are a-ragin', after all.  And I'm sure that has plenty to do with some of my more irrational rants ("WHO LEFT THAT PILLOW ON THE FLOOR???").  But I have to acknowledge that there are other forces at work in my life as well.

I know a lot of women have plenty of stress.  I realize that and even acknowledge it.

Of course, I also have the maturity of a preschooler sometimes and can't help but think my issues are bigger than other people's.  And that doesn't do anything to help me.

There's really no point to this post but to put it out there that I'm at a stage where my teeter-totter is teetering and tottering.

I don't know that there's an end in sight for this stage I'm in.  I'm sure there is one, but I can't see it yet. Until it appears, I just have to hold on.  And on the bad days when my teeter-totter slams me to the ground, I just need to keep my legs out from under me.

The Nesting Beast

Tonight I was trying to think of what I might possibly blog about.  Because Goodness knows if I don't make an effort to get on here regularly, I just may go MIA again.

So the obvious choice was to upload some pictures from off my camera.

But I couldn't find my camera.

This awoke the beast.

As much as I like to blame my hormones for my extremely short temper fuse, this was a different sort of hormonal beast.

The Nesting Beast.

I searched the usual hiding spots for the camera, but to no avail.  Then I checked the not-as-usual hiding spots. Culprit number one: the van.

Oh, the dang van.

The dang van hasn't been cleaned out since we came back from our vacation to Colorado.  Yeah, it's that gross.  So I spent several infuriating minutes looking under the seats, in left-behind backpacks, and under countless pieces of paper (not to mention all the other crap I'm too embarrassed to mention).  The whole time the Nesting Beast began rearing her ugly head.

It was like an out of body experience.  I could see the Nesting Beast ripping out of my already-full maternity clothes, my skin turning green, and my intelligence diminishing so I could only grunt in single syllables: "Beast clean!"

The Nesting Beast really isn't such a bad thing all the time.  But it sure would be nice if she could make an appearance when I'm not twice my usual size.  In looking under the dang van seats I nearly got stuck like a freaking turtle flipped over on the topside of his shell.  Now, how am I supposed to clean when I'm severely limited in what I can do?

And when the Nesting Beast realizes she won't get to do all the things she wants to, she'll become even more  enraged.  And then she'll begin smashing stuff and flipping cars and grunting things that don't even qualify as syllables.

Should make for an interesting day tomorrow.

And in case you were wondering, I found 3 flashlights on my quest of looking for the camera.  And yes, I used them CSI-style and wandered around my half-lit house using them to look for my camera.

And I found it.

If My Life Had an MP3 Player

I've been playing around with Emma's mp3 player she got for Christmas.  She wanted a bunch of different songs uploaded on it.  It's gotten me thinking about the music in my life.

If I were to set my day to music it would go something like this:

Yesterday I woke up in a quirky and somewhat weird mood.

(Until I found this video online I had no idea what all the lyrics of this song were.  But it's the music that matters.  [Btw, the dude in this reminds me of my brother when he and I were in Dead Man together and he played the murderer -- weird].)  This song accompanied me as I got the kids ready for school and off to the bus.

As the events began to unfold for the day, things changed a bit.  You see, I'm currently homeschooling Abby (yep, heading down that adventurous road again) and she's still learning that there's a bit of independence in home school, just not as much as she wants.  So my playlist shuffled and we got this gem:




And as the day continued, more kids came home.  And suddenly the house was full of kids that didn't want to do homework or chores.  They wanted to watch TV or play outside or do nothing at all.

I've never done drugs of any kind, but I can't help but think that four children who are all crying, whining, complaining, yelling, and fighting bring about the same chaos into your mind that the acid which inspired most 1960s music must have.

Hence, my next music choice.




Yeah, this one is nearly 18 minutes long.  Of course, it takes a lot less than 18 minutes for the house to go from quiet to uncontrolled upheaval.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted.  I just wanted peace and quiet.  So after the kids cleaned up their messes from the day, they finally fell asleep and I did too so I plugged in my inner-mp3 player and let it charge for the night.

I haven't yet decided what today's music was.  But I'm pretty sure I know how tomorrow's music will begin.