I've been having some "down" days. Debbie Downer days, if you will.
I'm not a good enough mother.
I'm not disciplining my children enough.
I discipline my children too much.
I don't have a clean enough house.
I'm not close enough to being ready for Christmas.
I don't give enough of myself to my husband.
I don't give enough of myself to myself.
I'm not exercising consistently enough to feel good about myself.
I need a haircut.
I eat too much junk food.
I don't feel guilty enough about eating too much junk food.
I feel like I'm barely staying afloat in my calling at church.
I feel like I'm overly invested in my calling at church.
The last one is the thing on my mind tonight. Mostly because I've been working on stuff for church for the last several hours. In January, 25 of my 52 nursery kids are heading to Primary with the older kids. (We'll only have 27 kids, whatever will we do?) They will be in a class called the Sunbeams. Because they are 3 years old, there are plenty of worries for these little guys to be able to sit still for nearly an hour before they go to class and have to sit still again. That's a lot of stillness for such little kids.
So we've been practicing. We've had Sharing Time and music time. The kids have been sitting in their chairs and raising their hands and offering answers. They are smart. And they know who Jesus is. Really, isn't that all that matters?
Tomorrow we are going on a field trip to the Primary room where some of the kids will see their brothers and sisters. Even some of their parents. I'm excited for them. It's a fun change.
I've taken it as a personal challenge to make sure these little ones are taught what will be expected from them in Primary. You can imagine how big Junior Primary will be if there are 25 3-year-olds. Not all of the age groups have 25 kids, but they are all large. If we sent 25 rowdy 3-year-olds into a room with 100(?) other kids, what sort of learning and sharing could occur? Not much, I can tell you that.
So along with our practice Sharing Time and our field trip to Primary tomorrow, I also made necklaces for the kids to have tomorrow. They have a picture of a sun and the middle of the sun says, "Sunbeams in Training".
I sat there looking at my creations and thought, "This is fun! I really hope the kids like these!"
Then the Debbie Downer in me popped up again. "Why am I putting this much energy into something no one will appreciate? 98% of all handouts end up in the garbage." Yes, that's a scientific fact.... I'm guessing.
So I hope that the things I've struggled with all day end up being worth it in the end. I'll know by tomorrow morning.
As for the rest of my Debbie Downer list, check back with me in about 60 years.