#6 30 Day Movie Challenge

#6 A movie that reminds you of somewhere

Footloose

I remember that my dad got the Footloose soundtrack for his birthday in 1984.  It was a vinyl record and I grew up listening to it and dancing around.  I wasn't allowed to see the movie.  I was in kindergarten, after all.

Seven years later my family moved to Utah.  One of the first things my new friends told me was that the movie Footloose was filmed there.  Just down the freeway a bit.  Okay, like 60 miles, but still.  I had moved to Utah with a bit of a bad attitude.  I was 14 and had just moved away from my first long-term best friend (moving a million times will make long-term friends a bit hard to collect).  But the thought of being able to see the mill from the movie from just off the freeway softened my heart a little.

It really didn't take long but I learned to love Utah.  A large piece of my heart will always call it home.  And often when I drive through American Fork I make sure I stop for gas at the Phillips 66 station across the street from the ever-famous mill. 

I thought I heard a rumor that the mill is gone now.  The Phillips 66 may be too.  I really don't know since I haven't gotten to stop there much over the last couple years.  But American Fork, UT, reminds me of Footloose and Footloose reminds me of American Fork. 

The movie itself is about a bunch of repressed hick-kids that just want to dance.  That's the gist, anyway. 

Here's one of my favorite scenes.  I love watching the cowboy learn to dance.  Although I would've been mortified if the guy I was dancing with pulled out some of his final moves in the scene.




And just in case you hadn't heard, a new version of the movie is coming out in October of this year.  It'll star some dancers in the lead roles (Kenny Wormald as Ren and Julianne Hough as Ariel -- Kenny is new to me and Julianne was on Dancing With the Stars until she left for her singing career).  I don't recognize a lot of names on the cast list, but Dennis Quaid plays the Reverend and Andie MacDowell plays his wife.  I'll watch it even though it was filmed in Georgia instead of the now overly-populated American Fork, but I'm not sure if I'll see it in the theater.  I might wait til it's in the Redbox.

A Few Comparisons

I decided to interrupt my movie challenge with some photo fun I had tonight.

Which kid is which? 

Okay, it's an easy one, but thought I'd share my fun.

Plus, I found these treasures too.

The one on the left was taken of me in 1998 when my BFF Cindy and I went to Disneyland together.  I thought this was a silly enough picture to send to the guy from my new ward that was on a mission -- the same guy whose mom tricked me into writing her son, a man I'd never met before.  Said guy received this picture and thought it was the weirdest thing to receive, but decided to give me another chance.  That former missionary is on the right with two of our four children.  He's trying to make the same face I did 11 years earlier.  Sorry, dear.  Didn't quite happen.

#5 30 Day Movie Challenge

#5 A movie that reminds you of someone

Have you ever met my Grampa?  He's a fairly large man and even at the tender young age of 83 he still has a pretty full head of hair.  He joined the Air Force as soon as he could and flew in Korea, Vietnam, and the Berlin Air Lift.  He intimidated me until I was about 20.  Okay, maybe not that old, but to a little kid he's a gruff man.  He's lived life, literally flown all around the world, and met some very colorful characters.




My dad, me (holding Emma), Grampa, Gramma in 2001

I know this because of his many stories.  Many, many stories. 

I love sitting and listening to Grampa tell his stories.  I wish I could go and visit him and Gramma for a couple weeks and just record their stories.  The oral history is amazing, but we need it written for future generations since oral histories rarely survive these days.

The movie that reminds me of my Grampa....

Big Fish

Basically, I've just given you the premise of this movie.  It's a great one.  One I like to watch a couple times a year.

#4 30 Day Movie Challenge

#4 A movie that makes you sad.

I cry during movies.  Heck, I cry during commercials.  That doesn't usually mean that a movie makes me sad.  But this one was an easy one to name.  But it didn't start out as the saddest movie.  Life just helped it evolve into it.

The Green Mile

This movie came out not long after Josh and I got married.  We saw it in the theater and we loved the movie from the first time we saw it..  I'm a Tom Hanks fan, but the person that blew me away was Michael Clarke Duncan who plays John Coffey. 

This cast is incredible: Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, James Cromwell, Sam Rockwell, Barry Pepper, and the list goes on.  I'll admit, some of these actors I didn't know before this movie, but I've happily identified them in other movies I've seen since.  Their performances are very memorable.

The plot is fantastic.  And by that I mean "fantasical".  John Coffey is a huge bear of a man accused of murder, yet the staff on the Green Mile (death row) discover how gentle and angelic he actually is.  There are extremes of heaven and hell, angel and demon, and love and hatred.

Why does this movie make me sad? 

Well, in general, it's a sad movie.  That's all I'll say about that.

But there's more to it than that.  The murder victims are two little blond sisters.  I was okay with the movie when Emma was born.  I could still watch it without identifying to it.

But then Abby was born. 

Two little blond sisters.

This particular scene

kills me!

I watched the movie once after Abby was born, made the connection, and haven't been able to watch the movie since.  It's too sad.  And Michael Clarke Duncan should've won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.  He was totally robbed.  That's almost sadder than the movie itself.

#3 30 Day Movie Challenge

#3 A movie that makes you happy.

I'm quickly discovering that this challenge is more difficult than I thought it would be.  A movie that makes me happy?  I can think of lots of movies that I enjoy watching and plenty of shows that I'll happily watch again and again.  But a movie that makes me happy?

I racked my brain and then it hit me.  The movie that makes me happy just thinking about it (and again when I watch it)...

The First Wives Club

Now, don't judge me.  Yes, the premise of this movie is that three women are looking for vengeance not only for their suicided friend (is "suicided" a word?) but for themselves as their ex-husbands run off with younger women. 

How can that make me happy?

Lots of reasons.  First, I love girl-power.  The women overcome their sadness and rise above it.  Great story. 

Second, the music is phenomenal.  1960s girl groups.  That makes me happy. 

But mostly, I love the characters and their hilarious one-liners.  I may not understand the circumstances they experience, but I recognize the characters/people.  I'm personal friends with some of the characters.

My favorite (surprise, surprise) is Elise, the actress.  "You think that because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings. Well you're wrong. I'm an actress. I've got all of them!"  Classic.

But there will always be a special place in my heart for Shelly.  Shelly the Barracuda.  ("She's 12.")

I love watching this movie and it definitely makes me happy.

#2 30 Day Movie Challenge

Your Least Favorite Movie

For me, this one is a no brainer.  In fact, I could say I HATE this movie.

Crash

This movie came out on video during my last semester of my senior year of college.  I had just spent four years paying tens of thousands of dollars to an institution that tried to convince me the power of "thinking outside the box."  However, it was at this point in time I discovered that some professors insist that I think outside my box and inside theirs.  I wasn't falling for that one.

In one of my classes a few people were talking about the power of the movie Crash.  Between my classmates and written reviews, this movie was supposed to be a profound dissection of American morality and racism. 

First off, the number of F-bombs through the show are enough to turn me off.  I almost stopped watching it, but I was waiting for the profound-ness to start. 

Should've just turned it off.

Second, the A-list actors made it a temptation.  See the movie cover above for names.

Third, the movie revolves around racism and prejudice.  Everyone hates everyone else and all are afraid of the others.  There's supposed to be an underlying message of "progress" according to Roger Ebert.  I didn't see it.  I walked away from the movie thinking of those boxes my professors wanted me to hop into.  And I couldn't stop hearing the voice of this one professor in particular that cultivated class discussions about white people and their overpowering racist ways.  I hated his class.

I hated the movie.  I found it over the top, without hope, completely overrated (Best Picture of the Year??? Puh-lease!!), and a complete disappointment.  Never see it.  Totally a waste of my time.

30 Day Movie Challenge

My friend Jim is doing this 30 Day Movie Challenge on Facebook.  I've been fascinated by his reported movies each day.  In fact, I really look forward to seeing what he's posted (the day cannot end without finding out Jim's movie of the day). 

So I asked him to email me a copy of his list so I could play too.  But as I love to talk about movies, I need more than the 420 characters I'm allowed to use on Facebook.  And it's been a long time since I've blogged everyday, maybe this will get me back into the habit.

Day 1: Your Favorite Movie

This is a tough one.  At first I couldn't even think of my favorites (what kind of movie lover am I???) but then I thought of so many that I had a hard time narrowing it down.

I think my favorite movie changes based on my phase in life.  But one movie that I have absolutely loved since the very first time I saw it (and later read the book and later bought the trivia game that no one could beat me at) was Gone With the Wind. 

To watch Scarlet O'Hara and Rhett Butler stupidly ruin everything for themselves just kills me.  But I can't stop watching.  The epic magnitude of the movie is amazing, especially considering the limited resources Hollywood had in 1939 compared to today.  Of course, the only way this movie could have been so epic if it was made today is if Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings) was the director.  However, who he could cast to rival Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable is a mystery to me.  Although, Carol Burnett and Harvey Korman come pretty darn close.

"Went With the Wind" from The Carol Burnett Show (Part of 2) - watch more funny videos

Matt's Update

Matt's MRI was yesterday and everything went relatively well.

First off, we went to my folks' house for the weekend.  My brother Peter and his wife and son had come down from Utah to visit and we wanted to see them one more time before they left.  Sunday night Matt told Uncle Pete that he wanted to practice being very still for his MRI.  So Pete timed him. 

One minute of laying perfectly still. 

Two minutes of laying perfectly still. 

Finally, Matt laid perfectly still with his cousin's Boppy pillow over him as the MRI for three minutes.  



Uncle Pete helping Matt practice for the MRI.

  We left for the MRI a bit late but discovered that even with Monday morning traffic heading into Phoenix, the Phoenix Children's Hospital was only about an hour away from home.

We checked in and Matt was immediately taken back for his chest x-ray.  Then we walked across the hospital for the MRI.  We had our own private waiting area.  The room had a TV, scales, vitals machines, books, toys, and a very cold air conditioning system.  We sat and waited for our turn, but there was a little girl on the MRI machine already. 

We waited some more for our turn.  The nurse came in and took Matt's vitals (it was nice having all the machines in the room with us so we didn't have to do a bunch of walking around the hospital).  We asked her if Matt could do the MRI without anesthesia since he'd practiced.  But she and the doctor kindly explained that he's too young to stay awake.  He was fine with that and so we were too.  Then we waited some more.

Then the doctor came in to tell us that of the two machines they have, only one was working.  And that working machine had just broken down.  We kind of laughed about it since Matt's only other MRI was taken in Denver and the machine had broken down right before Matt's appointment.  We had had to reschedule for the next day because you can't keep a 2-year-old hungry for that long.  We silently prayed that the machine would start working again so we could just get this thing over with.

We waited some more.

Finally, around noon we were told that the machine was up and running and Matt would be taken back within about 30 minutes.  What seemed about 60 minutes later, Matt went back, laid on the table for the MRI and used his practice for laying still as he breathed in his "sleepy medicine" from his mask and quickly rolled his eyes back and feel asleep. 

About an hour later the doctor came back with some initial news on the results of the test.  Matt's valve leakage is moderate, but that's been the case for the last couple years.  The walls of his right ventricle are thickening due to pumping so hard to offset the leakage, but that issue is mild/moderate.  There's no blockage anywhere and that is the point that would determine immediate surgery.  Overall, Matt's check up was good.  His cardiologist is on vacation for a week or so, but the MRI doctor said there's no immediate need for us to consult with him.  In the next two weeks we'll get a call to come in a see the cardiologist and go over the official results. 

We went back to see Matt and he sleepily told us that if he'd taken one more breath in that mask that he would've fallen asleep.  Then he asked what we were doing there because he needed to go into the machine for his pictures.  He looked up and behind his hospital bed and a major look of SHOCK hit his face as he realized he was in a different room.  We had to explain to him that he was done already.  It was cute.

The best part was knowing Matt doesn't need his next surgery for a while.  But nearly as wonderful as that was feeling the peace and comfort that prayers given on our behalf brought.  I don't know that I can even explain how much easier it was to endure the appointment feeling the power of prayer.  But I do want to offer a sincere Thank You to everyone that thought of us and prayed for us over the last few weeks.

Our tradition with Matt is that after his appointments we do something with him.  Usually it's just lunch, but with the bigger and more involved appointments we've done something a little more.... like the Denver Zoo or the Museum of Natural History.  So Josh figured out a plan.

Matt got to ride to see the movie Transformers 3 in Bumblebee himself. 

It was cool!

Josh took a picture of Matt next to Bumblebee, but it didn't save, so here's what Bumblebee looks like:

Matt was excited!!


Matt inside Bumblebee (with our friend Rebekah)

 It was great to be with Matt and even greater to get good news from the doctor, despite freezing to death in our waiting room as we spent hours waiting for the MRI.

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers!!

Another Talk

I hate it when plans change.  If I'm planning on something, I expect to do it.

Because of that logic, I often don't tell the kids what we're doing until right before we do it.  We've had past instances when they were told what they were going to do but then things changed and we had to deal with sad kids.  I hate that.

Now that's a habit I have.  I don't tell the kids what our plans are until right before we leave to do them.  Problem is, I forgot I hadn't told the kids about Matt's MRI on Monday.  So when I casually mentioned it tonight, it brought up a long conversation between Matt and me.

Matt and I had another talk about his pulmonary atresia.  It's the second one of its kind.  Go HERE for the first time we had this talk.  Matt remembered quite a bit about what his condition is, but at first he was afraid he'd have to go directly to surgery after his MRI.  My poor baby.

We talked about his upcoming surgery.  He cried when he said he doesn't want another bovine valve.  He just wants to be "like normal."  He also told me that he's scared.  I decided to be honest and tell him that I am too.  But he has good doctors that are looking out for him and, more importantly, lots of people are praying for him, including his daddy and me.  And he can pray for himself too. 

Matt was still a bit scared and said, "Now I'm old enough to know how to die.  When you pray for me, will you pray that if I die during surgery that I die without pain?"

{Enter Tears stage left}

I honestly can't remember what was talked about after that point.  I know there were hugs and reassurances.  He went upstairs to bed with a smile on his face.  He felt better and I felt.... well.... something.  It's hard to describe.

This whole thing is weighing heavily on my heart and mind.  The hospital called this morning to pre-register him and give us an idea of what our out-of-pocket expenses will be.  The MRI alone will cost more than Matt's last surgery cost us in total.  If he needs a surgery soon, I have no idea how much that will cost us.  There's so much stress emotionally, financially, and physically. 

One of the hardest parts is knowing that I did this.  I allowed him to have the surgery that spurred the rest of the surgeries throughout his life.  Really, Josh and I sat down with the doctor and went over all of the facts carefully and concisely and agreed that the surgery was going to be the best thing for Matt.  But Mommy-guilt knows no rationality.

We'll see what happens on Monday.  Actually, it may be a week or two until we find out how the MRI goes.  He's not in an emergent state, so we'll have our regular check up with his cardiologist and talk to him about the results at that point in time.

I knew parenthood would be difficult, I just didn't know what "difficult" meant.

Looking For Support

In 12 days Matt goes in for a cardio MRI. 

This is a bit of a big deal.  I've thought about it everyday since it was scheduled a couple weeks ago.  The last time Matt had a cardio MRI, it was the final step needed for him to be approved for his valve replacement surgery.  Just the fact that we're scheduled for this tells me that we're getting much closer to the dreaded "next surgery."

I use this blog to talk about this every so often... about twice a year when his check ups with the cardiologist come due.  But I was looking for an online group or a blog or something similar where I could read others' stories and talk about my own because I'm sure I'm part of a community of mothers that I don't even know about.  The trouble is finding them.

There are lots of great groups out there.  My friend Tara has begun a blog called Kidz for parents of special needs children.  It's a wonderful group and she's become quite an advocate for special needs kids. 

But I truly don't know if Matt qualifies as "special needs".  He has very few physical limits (contact sports may be out of his future, but he doesn't seem that interested in them so that may not be a big deal) and he's growing fine and independent (he made his own quesadilla for lunch today).  It seems selfish to thrust myself into a community of parents with so much more weighing on their hearts than I do.  It reminds me of the experience in the NICU when Matt was born.  Here was this 8 lb baby surrounded by babies born as small as 2 or even 1 lb.  We didn't fit in, although we belonged there.

That's how I feel about so many of the supportive groups I've found online.  We don't fit in, but we belong somewhere. 

Maybe it's time I start my own.  Maybe a group for parents with kids with heart defects.  Maybe a group for parents that have experienced their babies having surgery. 

What do you think?

Line Upon Line

Today was the second week in our newly established ward.  We have a great bishop and I'm looking forward to getting to know him better.  His wife is incredible.  Easily one of the nicest people I've ever met.  The only callings so far have been to people in leadership positions.  The rest of us are filling in by taking over our previous callings until told otherwise.  There's plenty of chaos, but we're all managing.

I've been asked to fill in as the Nursery leader.  There is no secret that this is not the easiest place for me to serve.  Adults = easy.  Youth = iffy.  Children = hesitant.  Babies = fear.  I've been doing this for nearly a year now.  I was so excited to hear about the ward split.  Obviously we were heading toward the new ward and there would be plenty of opportunities to serve beyond the Nursery.  I even went out and purchased a couple April Conference issues of the Ensign in anticipation of fourth Sunday lessons (of course our Ensign subscription lapsed right before that issue came out and I'm a procrastinator).  I've been looking forward to winds of change.

Today I had gone down the hall for a second to run something by the new Primary president and I ran into our new bishop in the hallway.  I told him I needed some keys, the toy chests all have padlocks on them and they were all locked today.  We made do, but we'd need the key in the future.  Bishop told me he had a key for me, but he got stopped by someone else and I told him I'd get it from him later. 

Later came when I was taking a child to her mother (dirty diaper) and ran into Bishop again.  He suddenly remembered the key.  So we walked together toward his office.  I told him I knew I'd get it from him sometime, the poor guy was like a chicken with his head cut off.  Everyone needed him and I'm sure the mantle of Bishop is a heavy one even when you're not organizing a new ward from scratch.  He asked if it was that obvious.  I told him I thought he was handling it all very well.  He told me that he saw all of us running the classrooms and thought we were all handling things very well. 

The Lord works "line upon line, precept upon precept; here a little, and there a little (D&C 128:21).  My conversation with the Bishop was a line.

The second line hit me tonight when I read a blog post shared on Facebook by my friend Ana.  It talked about the story of Naaman.  Naaman was a leper and the prophet Elisha told him to go wash in the Jordan River seven times and he'd be healed.  He was reluctant at first (how could a dirty river cleanse him?) but he did it.  It was a simple act but he had expected to need to do something different.  Something grander. 

This blog post relates Naaman to the writer's expectations of motherhood (see the link above for the article, definitely worth reading).  She had expected something different.  And although I could easily go on about my own interpretation of that, the post hit me in a different way.  My opportunity to serve in the church.

Between talking with the Bishop and reading about Naaman, I've learned something.  It's not what I do.  It's my attitude as I do it. 

I have been expecting something different.  I expect my church attendance to fulfill my spiritual needs.  And to an extent, it should.  However, what am I doing between 5pm on Sunday afternoon when I leave the church building and 2pm the following Sunday when I report again?  Am I giving myself the opportunity to grow and learn spiritually in the peace and safety of my own home?  Am I living my life so my time spent at church is a supplement to my own efforts, or is it the only time I devote to my Savior? 

I have been waiting for a new calling so I can finally have adult interaction and socialization at church, stimulating lessons and discussions that keep my mind sharp, and a spiritual renewal that's kind of hard to experience when you're trying to keep 3-year-olds from climbing on the tables.

It's my calling's fault that I don't feel connected to my spirituality.

Right?

The Bishop was right.  So many people in our ward are handling the chaos well.  They are doing what they should.  Not because they were asked to, but because they know it's the right thing to do.

Where do I fit in? 

I've let myself become bitter and unwilling. 

It's my attitude that needs to be adjusted.  There's a good chance I'll be staying in the Nursery for a while longer.  I'm experienced and I take charge.  So how will I take the news if I'm asked to stay in the Nursery?

I realized tonight (line upon line) that I'll do it happily.  Those little kids (as much as they make me crazy after two hours of wrangling them) are beautiful.  One boy said to Josh last week, "You love me, I know you do."  Yes, you sweet boy.  How can we not? 

If I get my personal study back on track (it's been lacking quite a bit lately) and some other goals for our family completed, then church will once again be a supplement.  And maybe even a sanctuary.  Not the quiet kind with lots of meditating.  I mean, have you ever meditated with 20 toddler/preschoolers around you?  But if I can zone in on the innocence of the children and follow their examples to "becometh as a child" (Mosiah 3:19), I can find the sanctuary I need -- an escape from the world. 

"Josh, Where Are Your Shoes?"

We had some great fun out on the lake the other day.  It definitely was something we'll do again.

I thought I'd show off our pictures in a movie.  

We loved going out and playing in the water.  We went out on the tube (the pictures at the end) and while Josh and Matt were out, Josh thought he'd show Matt how to be a little daring.  Josh laid on his belly and pretended to be Superman.  He sat up and bounced up and down.  He even hung his feet off the side and into the water. 

And then .... oops.

It was immediately after that that we began the search for Josh's sandals because they had slid off his feet and drifted away somewhere into the lake.  Throughout the afternoon I had a little fun at his expense by asking, "Honey, where are your shoes?"

I learned something, though.  I want a boat.  I grew up under the impression that only the dads drove boats.  Only my grampa drove his boat.  And only my dad drives his boat.  No girls allowed.  But that's not the way it has to be.  I even got a bit of a driving lesson and taught some tricks of the trade so someday when we get a boat I won't be completely clueless. 

I can see it now.  We'll all have fun on the boat while we're laughing (my cheeks ended up hurting from laughing so much), tubing, swimming next to the boat, looking for Josh's lost shoes..... it'll be a wonderful time. 

Now, to suddenly get rich.....