Pregnantly Stupid

I don't know that I've ever gone so long without blogging.  Not since I started this thing up which was about three and a half years ago.  It almost feels like it's been that long since I last updated.

But there have been some reasons for my lack of updates.

I'm pregnantly stupid.

There are several different brands of pregnant stupidity.  I can list three that I have personally been experiencing.

(Oh, in case you didn't know, I'm 22 or 23 weeks pregnant.)

CASE 1: One Track Mind Stupid

When you're prego it's hard to imagine having a conversation with another person over something other than the fact that you are pregnant.  It's way easy to forget that there are other events happening in life when there's a human life budding within you.  Especially when you just want to barf and sleep all day long... not necessarily in that order.

This time around it's been different than before.  We are having our fifth child.  However, this is my eighth pregnancy.  I got to go on a bunch of hormones for the first trimester which absolutely heightened all the negative aspects of pregnancy.  It's hard to focus on anything else when you're lucky to get out of bed at all.

And so I've been focused on one thing.  Me.  And all of that self-focus has made me stupid.  Pregnantly stupid.

CASE 2: Borrowed Brain Cells Stupid

Josh has told me more than once that when I'm pregnant my blonde roots become extremely apparent.  It seems that the little person growing in my womb gets a little help in shaping his/her intelligence by borrowing my brain cells.

This makes having any sort of an intellectual conversation nearly impossible.  And forget about having anything of interest to write about on a blog.  I have had very little desire to display my lack of mental capabilities.

And it's the reason I'm "22 or 23" weeks pregnant.  I have no idea which it is.  That would require remembering something.

But it's January.  Time to hit the Redo Button (like the Staples Easy Button, but for resolutions).  Time to get my blog writing and family updating back on track.  Plus, I'm in my second trimester now and it's time for me to unleash the tirades of hormonal imbalance.

CASE 3: Unnecessary Paranoia Stupid

It's no secret.  We've been dealing with the heartbreak of two miscarriages over the last 15 months.  Getting past the first 6 weeks of this pregnancy was a good sign.  And should have bolstered my confidence in keeping this baby.

But I've been paranoid.

Even hitting the 20 week mark didn't aspire much more confidence.

We usually begin stocking up on diapers by this point in the pregnancy.  I haven't bought any yet.  Why?  Because I'm afraid to count my chicken.  The reality of this baby still hits me between the eyes, startling me to acknowledge that I'm not just fat.  There's a baby in there.  And then I realize that I'm being kind of stupid by not completely accepting that this baby is coming to our family.  It's time to get beyond my own insecurities and embrace this new miracle.

Baby Girl Number 4.  We are getting really excited for May 9th, 7:30 am to come around.  There are definitely some advantages to having a planned c-section.

And so, I hope to come back to the blogging world.  Despite being pregnantly stupid.