I know you had a bad weekend. Saturday night brought the biggest storm we've seen since we moved to Arizona about a year ago. It was big. I mean, you were there. You must have seen the huge drops of rain, felt the fiercely howling wind, heard the too-close-for-comfort thunder.
But that wind. Oh, that wind. It was nasty. I was just waiting for the tree in our front yard to uproot and break through our front window. I had no idea you were going to get it.
But, The Neighbor's Tree, as sorry as I am that the wind tore you in half, I'm kind of mad at you. Half of you still stands erect next door, but half of you landed on our car.
Now, The Neighbor's Tree, here's why I'm mad at you. Why didn't you mess up our car beyond recognition? For goodness sakes, the least you could have done was make it undriveable. But you didn't. So we had to jump start the stupid thing. Tree, you've seen us have to do this several times since we so recently moved in. I'm trying to get the car to work nicely for Josh to drive to and from work, but it refuses to be an easy car to get along with. Next time, just knock the crap out of it, would you? Put the stupid thing out of my misery.
Because I only drove the car to and from church yesterday, it didn't keep its charge very well and now I'm stuck at home with the dead car as my only transportation. The Neighbor's Tree, I really needed your help with this. And you failed. I'm very disappointed. Now I'm going to have to hope some other natural catastrophe happens to it.