One of the common gifts for Mom on Mother's Day (besides the obvious flowers) is some sort of "home spa" set. Bath salts, perfumes, bubbles, soaps. I'm pretty sure I'm not sticking my foot in my mouth by saying, I don't want those for Mother's Day. I think I've stood on my bubble-bath-soap box enough for Josh to have gotten the hint. I don't do baths. Baths are not like they are in the movies or on TV. There is a reality to baths that Hollywood has never truly explored.
Why I don't like baths:
First you have to clean the tub. Remember the episode of Friends when Monica gets Chandler to love baths? He makes a comment at the beginning of the show of "You just sit there stewing in your own filth." I guess this reveals that I don't scrub my tub daily. Don't judge me.
Bubble baths don't make all the cool bubbles they do in the movies, unless you use an entire bottle. And even then they all melt quickly. Maybe the expensive stuff works well, but if you're able to afford expensive bubble bath for your long, relaxing baths, then I don't know how we are even friends since we have virtually nothing in common. I say that with love.
When does a bath fit into the schedule? If you are the mom at our house, the answer is, "It doesn't." The purpose of a bath is to get away from it all. I can't even go to the garage without Millie freaking out that I'm doing anything without her. (Heaven forbid I have a life.)
Baths are boring. You just sit there. I guess you could do some thinking, but you can do that anywhere: the couch, the car, the kitchen table, the toilet. In a bath, you can't fall asleep because you'll drown. You can't read because your hands will get wet and then leave water marks on your book/magazine. And what if you drop your book/magazine? Sucky.
So, to sum it up, baths are a lot of effort to prep for, they aren't relaxing and they are boring.
Get Mom a card for Mother's Day. Or some flowers. Or chocolates.
Or be incredible like my husband and buy her a new five bedroom house. That works too.
8 comments:
I do enjoy reading in the tub, but only my deep jetted tub (you turn the jets on the bubbles come back!). Of course, I take maybe 3 baths a year ...
Can I add to the do not DO for Mother's Day list? Please, please, please do not make me eat breakfast in bed!!! Eating laying down is bad enough, but eating in bed with crumbs? Yuck, yuck, yuck!
I like baths. As long as the water is able to cover me all the way. Meaning I don't like them in the main bathroom. I do have a soaking tub, but my water heater isn't big enough to fill it. So, right now I don't like them, but I want one!!!
To add to the don'ts....
Don't get me nothing with the explanation that we can't afford anything. It doesn't have to be much. Just to let me know that you actually thought of SOMETHING.
CONGRATS on that gorgeous house!! I can't wait to see more photos.
I am a LOVER of the bath. Although I realize a lot of people dislike them, I take one once a week AT LEAST! I have to take one at like 10 at night, and I love the water super hot, and I read a book (of course I only read books I own because it does damage them sometimes and I don't want to ruin a library book). They leave me so relaxed and happy. You can't go wrong giving me bath stuff for any type of present.
I agree with Cindy - breakfast in bed is nice. And another DO - Do get the kids ready for church without me. That would be a wonderful present.
Oh, sorry Shelly, I LOVE baths. I, like Michelle, love the hot hot water and soaking and reading. I have even brought in the lap top and set it on the toilet and watched a quick show! It is soothing and refreshing and just plain wonderful. When I was preparing for the birth of my 3rd and 4th child (naturally), I often did relaxation techniques in the the tub. Aaahhh....I think maybe I'll go take a bath right now. Oh, and if you even need a place to stay, you can crash at my house anytime...especially because I know that we will NOT be fighting over the bathtub!
I hardly ever get a bath, but normally I shower either before or after a bath anyways---and I get a bath after the kids are asleep--but I do it with the door open in case one of the girls needs me...so no not the most relaxing--
I have mastered reading a book in the tub with out getting water on it---I keep a towel next to the tub and dry my hands off after getting into the tub, when I am done reading-the water is normally getting cold--I put the book inside the towel to keep it dry--
ok now that I wrote my own blog--I actually only logged in to say
IS THAT YOUR HOUSE? AMAZING!! BEAUTIFUL!!!!
Ok Shelly, I totally agree with you on the bath thing. First of all... who has time?? I really would have to bathe in the middle of the night and quite frankly I like my sleep much more. Then you have to dry your hair and do something with it so you don't wake up with a huge matted hay stack. Too much effort... totally negates the *relax* time. Bubbles never stay long enough. I always feel a little silly just sitting there doing nothing, books get wet, because it's the middle of the night music would have to be too quiet. Just kind of boring. And then I have hot water issues. I don't like it cold, but I can't handle it too warm either. I suddenly get overheated in a little confined space and have to get out of there. (Sauna's and hot tubs are not my friends at all!)
I love love love a hot sudsy bath with candles and music. Or my latest book on tape playing on laptop speakers. I have not had this for years because my last two places have shallow tubs. Lori's right: deep or nothing.
No breakfast in bed. Breakfast, yes. bed, no.
And the house is GORGEOUS.
That would be a pretty nice present, yeah?
I love to take baths too, but found that I rarely have the time. That is why I don't mind much that my master bathroom does not have a tub. I noticed from 2003 to 2007 when I had direct access to a nice big tub I probably took a bath a half dozen times. That's it.
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