As a mother I say things, but they aren't what I really mean. I think I should just start calling a spade a spade and be honest with myself and all those around me.
Instead of: Come inside for dinner.
Should be: Come inside and complain about what my last two hours of effort have created.
Instead of: Get into bed and stay there.
Should be: Stay in your bed before I go insane because I need the quiet time.
Instead of: Don't hit your sister.
Should be: Don't hit your sister because it's annoying when she whines about it and I won't be so sympathetic when she tries to hit you back if you do it.
Instead of: Do your chores, please.
Should be: Start your whining about how mean a mother you have and that your leg/arm/head/stomach hurts.
I'm sure there are more, but I'm distracted. Emma is currently whining about her leg hurting even though she's supposed to be filling the dishwasher. And the amazing thing is that I wrote that last one before the whining began.
I called it!!
4 comments:
Ahhhh. The greatness of motherhood! :)
And don't forget that event though they went to the bathroom 5 minutes before, once a chore is asked of them, they mysteriously have to go again....interesting how that works!
Ha ha. This is what I tried last night, "Please go to bed and stay in bed. I am very ornery and I need some time alone and you will be doing yourself a big favor by minding and not having me turn into a yelling monster." Tried, being the key word. Thankfully, I held it together pretty well. Today, though, as Sierra put Aiddie on her bed twice in a half-hour and then walked away only to have her crawl off the edge...didn't hold it together so well. Sometimes, honesty is the best policy!
Oh, and your comment on Jason's Mom's blog was sooo perfect. Funny and dramatic and enticing all at once. I think she is going to have to give into the pressure and just declare us both winners!
Please, you must be exaggerating... kids don't do that! Or how about a few mins after sitting down for dinner and 80% of the food still in the bowl: “I’m full, can I be done?” 1 min elapses… “What is for desert?”
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