When I first went back to school in 2003, I decided to be a Secondary Education Major with an emphasis in Theatre. Sounds fun, but it was a lot of work. This major is actually equivalent to three separate majors: secondary education, theatre, and English. The reason for the English portion of the degree is because it's very difficult to find a theatre teaching position, so as an English teacher I could coach or direct drama as an after-school club, which is the way the school funds seem to be heading. I also had to take classes on teaching debate, something I'm not very good at and very much not interested in. Our teacher was actually the local high school debate teacher and he saw this more as a blow off class than the students did.
My debates were rarely researched, generally poorly argued, and overall abysmal. I don't like debating over any subject and I often found myself on one side of an argument with all my much-more-liberal classmates on the other side. I hated the class.
But there were a few times that I argued for something I truly felt inspired by. I argued for the Pro-Life side of abortion. I argued for respecting our Veterans. And I argued for the sanctity of marriage.
In the marriage debate, I became so impassioned for my cause that I forgot that my statements would most likely not be readily accepted. I shared the personal experience of the man who sealed Josh and me for Time and Eternity and his advice to us. He told us that if we always thought of, and acted on behalf of, the other person we'd never have to fall into selfishness and begin worrying about ourselves. In essence, if I do everything I can to care for, love, and provide for Josh and he does the same for me, I never have to worry about myself. I'm taken care of, Josh is taken care of and our bond grows even stronger. We become a stronger unit with Jesus Christ as our Center.
I finished my speech and I could see the look of disbelief in the eyes of every member of the class. The argument quickly became "How can you trust someone to always be there for you?"
I realized this topic was beyond their capabilities to understand. My love and faith in another person is greater than my own selfish limitations. But every one of them walked away from class that evening convinced that I had no clue.
But now, here it is years later and I'm seeing the effects that this advice has had on Josh and me. We still have years to experience this more, but what I've seen lately proves to me that I'm much happier when I devote my life to Josh than to myself.
My husband loves me. He treats me like a queen, and has since before we were married. He looks for ways to help me. He wants nothing but to make me laugh and be happy.
Two nights ago, Josh refused to watch a movie that my brother-in-law suggested. It's the Percy Jackson movie. I had told Josh when the movie first came out that I didn't want to see it because I don't want it to influence my own Greek gods story I'm writing. He was so loyal to me. It's probably really stupid for me to be like this, but he stuck by me and even stood up for me.
Then, last night, Josh ordered a gift for me. A few weeks ago I revealed to him a desire of mine. For quite some time now I've been wanting to learn how to play the acoustic guitar. So last night I discovered that Josh was getting me a guitar with lessons on DVD.
How can anything go wrong when I have such an incredible and loving man always watching out for me? He makes me whole. And I hope that someday those classmates and teacher of mine will be able to understand that I wasn't delusional. I was enlightened.