Mortgage Murmurings

Warning: This is a long one.

Tonight my status on Facebook reads:

"You think that because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings. Well you're wrong. I'm an actress. I've got all of them!"

In case you didn't recognize it, it's a quote from Goldie Hawn in First Wives' Club. One of the best movies ever. And one of the best characters ever.

I'm not a movie star. Although, I was in a film student's final project. I played a bank teller. I never saw the movie, but I'd be shocked if I didn't end up on the cutting room floor. Anyway. My point is I've been feeling a lot of emotions lately. And, unfortunately, most of them stem from my frustrations with our future mortgage company.

Less than three weeks before our closing date we were told the underwriter had approved us and we just needed to provide some more information in writing. Fine. We gave all the information they asked for by 10am the next morning (we had been on our way to the Phoenix airport when we got the call).

The weekend came and went. No word. We figured all was well. Monday, no word. All must still be well. Then came Tuesday.

Suddenly we needed to provide them with additional information and we found out for the first time that we needed to complete a homeowners' education course. Here's where I began to get really frustrated. At the beginning of March when we began this search for own home, we signed up for this education course just in case we would need it. The classes generally fill quickly. So, to work around Josh's schedule, I enrolled us in a class that was to be held weeks away at the end of March. That was tough to find a day off that would work. But, I did it. Then we found this house and the class wasn't required, so I cancelled the class. I was fine with that. That meant Josh and I got a date instead of spending eight hours in a classroom in Phoenix on a Saturday.

So, when we were told fifteen days before our closing date that the underwriter wanted us to complete this course, I about freaked. How were we going to do this and get it to the underwriter in time for them to take it to the funding people in time to get it to the title people in time for us to close on time? Are you catching that I've been feeling like we are running out of time????

Luckily, Josh found an online version of the course. This class is usually free, but to expedite our access to the course, we had to pay $10. Whatever. Josh took the course and we submitted it within four hours of being told we had to take it. Take that, Mr Underwriter.

We figured we were done until the next morning when we had to sign some more papers and submit some more info. We were told everything would be submitted and taken care of. Silly me. I believed them.

Thursday and Friday came and went. So did the weekend. No word. Then this morning they wanted YET MORE information from us. How much more info can we give them??? I swear it seems like they want our life stories:

Dear Mr Underwriter: My favorite color is green. I don't like body odor. When I was six I was bitten by a dog on the back of my head. I don't really know how to swim. And if you ask me for my bra size, I'll be forced to knee you.

We close in 8 days. The underwriter accepted everything this afternoon (that's the official word). We may actually close escrow Monday. I don't really know what that means, but I know it's one of the last things we need to do to get the keys to our new house.

To sum it up: Buying a house = Emotional Highs & Emotionl Lows.