Sunday, January 11, 2009

No Pictures, Please!

This is going to be a crappy post. Literally.

When Josh was serving his mission in South Africa, he had some interesting experiences including the day his companion trapped a monkey in their flat. Josh says that monkeys are as common in the neighborhoods as stray cats are in the US. But, I guess his comp rigged the window in the kitchen and trapped a monkey in the kitchen. The monkey freaked out and began jumping and screaming around the kitchen leaving "deposits" throughout the room (that's college-talk for poop). Josh's companion was from Madagascar and struggled a bit with English, so when he and Josh opened the kitchen door his companion shouted, "Oh, guys! Poop ever'where!" (You have to hear Josh say it to fully appreciate the humor of the statement.)

I was reminded of this story when Millie pooped on me today. Twice. In the same diaper changing situation. There are some things that I didn't miss before Millie was born. As I held her bum in the air to place the clean diaper under it and the eruption occurred, I really wanted to shout, "Oh, guys! Poop ever'where!" But Josh was sleeping so I didn't. Then, when I held her bum in the air to place the second clean diaper under it and the second eruption occurred, I just wanted to swear.

This reminded me of a poem I wrote in my Creative Writing class one summer semester before Matt was born. Please allow me to share.

Maternal Mania
MAR-CHING MAR-CHING MAR-CHING MAR-CHING
And so my daughter does it
Marching around me
As I sit on the floor
Wrestling with the other one
Pinning her down
The rancid odor singes my brain
Oh Baby
What did you eat
The television blares
To drown out the noise
The Marching
The Crying
The Washing Machine
Daddy shouting
To tell me a story
Of happenings of his day
It's almost too much
It's almost too much
The pressure is rising within
I feel it Surging
Mounting
Uncontrollable
Vesuvius
Eruption!!
Catch my breath
With the net of sanity
Wipe the tears
With the tissue of reason
I didn't expect
To laugh
I think that sums up motherhood, or at least my perspective of it for the day.

9 comments:

Jabon said...

I hate poo


Great poem!

Merinda Reeder said...

And JeriDawn's latest post is about poop, too.
Wow. I remember yellow poo, and as much as I'm glad it doesn't stink like toddler poo, I'm not looking forward because I remember it getting into places that the stinky variety doesn't reach.
Yippeee.

Jeri Dawn said...

Ha! Love it.

Crisanne said...

Yep! That is a perspective that lasts way too long! I'm actually starting to count down, only one kid left in diapers, and then no more!

colds1 said...

All I have to say is that with my second, I just threw a bunch of his clothes away. No matter what it cost, it was not worth trying to clean them. When we heard the sound or saw the face our mantra became "Save the clothes! Save the clothes!"

Tara Dawn said...

Oh, how I can relate to this post! Love the poem, sis.

Celine said...

Shelly, the way you related that "eruption" totally made me laugh!
I'm sorry! LOL
I feel for you though!

Tara Bennett said...

Oye! Motherhood is not for the weak, that's for sure!

Love ya girl!

Mrs. Bennett said...

What, poop? My baby doesn't do that.